Wisdom is powerful. It represents experience. It’s how you’ve walked through life and found the nuggets of gold to transform your life. It’s the new story of how life can be.
It’s being able to say, heaven is where I am instead of feeling like life is hard and it should be like it was.
As Abraham-Hicks says, “Practice moving your gaze. Practice changing your perspective.”
One of the ways I am opening to new ways of experiencing life is shifting how I make decisions. I am listening to my inner wisdom, living from the inside out rather than making decisions based on society’s rules, pressures from the outside or from how things are supposed to be.
I realize how when I define my own standards by what feels right to me I am relieved of a lot of anxiety and perfectionism.
Realizing when I trust my wisdom rather than believing more in a God I see as out there judging me, I am calmer and more at peace.
I see how perfectionism causes you to inflict a lot of self-abuse, nothing is ever good enough.
For instance, as a mother, I wanted to be the best mother. And of course, during that defining stage of life, that was being a super-woman. Which just in that, I could never live up to, so I was never at peace with what was happening. I wasn’t resilient or accepting, just critical of how I wasn’t enough, wasn’t perfect. Thinking mostly about what was wrong with me.
Mothers have so much guilt and shame trying to balance all their roles - being a partner, being a mother, being an employee or CEO, being a friend, being a sister or daughter, and taking care of yourself.
What if you knew your core values and made decisions around those instead of what others might be saying about you or how you think you are supposed to be? That could relieve a bunch of guilt and shame and experience a new way of living.
Looking back, and knowing what I know now, instead of judging from outside criteria, if I would have assessed from the joy and love I was feeling, I would have been on top of the world. I would have been in a better space.
I know hindsight is 20/20.
And, what is even crazier, not much of what you do changes. Except what is happening inside your head. You are content because you are living the life you are creating based on the values you set, not from the world, not from your family, and not from your church.
You experience the world based on what is right for you. It relieves you of most of the burden of what others expect of you.
I know this is hard because just like over this holiday I realize I have some resentment over how time is relegated to us for Christmas. (I know I should be grateful for having time with our kids, and I do, but I also don’t like the way it is playing out.) A friend of mine was telling me how her mother says this is when Christmas is, show up and if they aren’t there, so be it. Instead, I try to please everyone’s schedule which ends up frustrating me because I feel we are squeezed in. I see the layers and layers of beliefs wrapped up in my thinking. Growing up Christmas was a big deal, celebrating with my family and how we did it. So that image for me is the story I wanted to replicate as an adult. But things changed and my thinking didn’t. As adult kids have partners and kids, then add being a blended family, circumstances changed. But, I wasn’t. I am still in resistance, not as bad. It is why it is so important to know the values or the purpose of what you want. For me, it’s having our family together, however that looks. But, I haven’t quite gotten to whenever. Things have changed over the years. I’m closer to not caring that it has to be on a given day. It’s time to recreate a new image of Christmas that works for us now.
Think of how you can be open to new ways to experience your life. Start simple.
The fastest way to experiencing something new in your life is, to begin with loving yourself every day.
How about starting with feeling better? Or, thinking ideas like “I see the good in everything.”
How does that look and feel for you? Look at it from the perspective of you physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
Decide what your criteria is that defines feeling better for you. Could it be paying attention to how your body feels as you are making decisions and living your life?
Physically - Would your life feel and be better if you choose to move more or eat more greens?
Mentally - Would your life feel and be better if you let go of some of the guilt and shame and instead built your life around your core values?
Emotionally - Would your life feel and be better if you let go of perfectionism or being a victim?
Spiritually - Would your life feel and be better if you connect more to your Higher Power, slowed down and meditated a little each day?
You can begin by putting more pleasures in your life.
What if you could use your negative feelings to help guide you to the next step instead of staying in that story of being a victim and blaming others? What if you realized that your inner wisdom is guiding you, telling you that you are off track of where you want to go? Not trying to make your life miserable. As Tama Kieves shares, “Your pain is your insistent guru… How do you sit down right now and trust the perfection of where you are?”
Your pain has something to teach you. See the lesson and the messages trying to come to you. Experience life in a new way.
How about greeting each day with optimism and joy? Think about what an exciting time it is to be alive. What patterns need to change?
Where in your life have you let the extrinsic rewards or messages guide your life? How can you shift that to experience the joy and happiness you are after?
Be open to new ways to experience your life. Whether you look at traditions or unhealthy patterns. Or, things you have discovered you want for your life.
Life has a lot to teach you. Use your wisdom to guide the next steps.