I love being on this spiritual journey. It has taught me so much about myself. It has allowed me to shift from being a victim to being responsible for my life. It is so much more empowering and freeing. I feel like I am in charge of my life rather than feel like it is dictated by others or other circumstances. I am not always so pure about being responsible. There are certain things that get triggered and I resort back to trying to blame someone or something else. For instance here is a silly example, my husband and I take nightly walks. I always get the house key. He was in a hurry tonight because he wanted to get back to watch the ballgames. I couldn’t find the key and was making him wait. I looked where it usually was. I couldn’t find it. I looked a few other places and couldn’t find it there. Finally, I went back to where we keep it, and it was there. Well, when I went to meet him outside, I wanted to make up some excuse about the key rather than take responsibility that I just didn’t see it. I wanted to “look” a certain way; I didn’t want to look like a ditz. I wanted to “please” him by hurrying but I was holding us back. So instead of making excuses, I owned the situation. I didn’t allow myself to belittle myself or make myself “wrong” about the situation. I just told him what happened and we enjoyed our walk.
This is just a small example of the ways you interact in life with others. I had to become aware of the choices I was making. Why did I need to blame something else, not take ownership? Do I want to please others? Do I need others think I was perfect? What was the self-talk I was hearing? Why was I letting these simple things create a big ordeal in my mind? What is driving your life? What are my priorities? Am I in integrity with what I say I want in my life? Why was I afraid of just telling the truth?
Discover what beliefs, justifications and excuses are guiding your decisions. What roles are you playing? What do you feel like you need to “live up to?” What are you hiding from? Look at this with compassion. Be the observer. Do not judge yourself, but just notice. Awareness is the first step along the path to discover your authentic self. Without awareness, there are simply automatic behaviors. You will continue to react and pull yourself down with learned behaviors that may no longer be serving you. Awareness is the opportunity to release old patterns of behavior and embrace new ways of interacting in life. Take time to discover more about yourself. It’s so freeing to know you have another choice.