I love learning new things. Yet, I often feel very anxious when I’m a novice at something. I worry about how I might look. Will I look stupid? Will I do it “right?” Whenever there is a new task before me, I flounder wondering how I do this or will I ever get it. It can take away the joy of the opportunity before me. I like feeling that I am competent.
We recently went to Brush Creek Ranch in Wyoming. They offered fly-fishing so my husband and I went with the guide to learn how to fly-fish in the stream. It was beautiful. It was exciting and invigorating. I was able to do something I wanted to do. I got to have waders on, like the real deal. Years ago, I took fly-fishing lessons so I thought I might catch on quickly. Trey, our guide, showed us step-by-step how to do it before we went into the stream. We practiced each step. I felt like I was getting it. I was excited about my casting. Then when we got into the stream and I didn’t cast exactly right on each try. I realized how my anxiety went up. I wasn’t calm. I wasn’t so excited about learning something new. I was too worried about frustrating Trey with being a novice, not doing it all so correctly. I worried he was staying with me, and my husband didn’t get any attention. My husband was like a pro, wading down the stream. It was so neat to see him feel very comfortable. It was a splendid opportunity. What was I doing to myself rather than taking advantage of experience? I allowed my anxieties to override the excitement of growing and learning something new for awhile. I nearly allowed myself to miss the joy and fun of fly-fishing because of my own negative internal dialogue. I realized how many things I have probably missed out on because I don’t like that feeling of being a “novice.” How about you?
Where in your life are you keeping yourself from growing and enjoying more of life because of some hidden messages you are saying to yourself? Where can you release the grip of fear to move on through it to grow and be all you want to be? To do and be able to experience all that life has to offer?