YOU'RE RETIRED.
NOW WHAT?

How Much Grace Do You Need When You Traverse New Territory?

What do you love, love to do?

First thing for me is to be with Bo and my kids — added benefit, some grandkids there too.

But then, I think about how much I love to learn and help people see what’s possible in life.  I think I’m so obsessed with learning because I have realized how the world opens for me.  Whether that is through conversations, courses, books or travel.

I just read in my Next Avenue ezine about “Super-agers.”  Shayla Stern said, “They are people who remain vital and cognitively resilient through a very old age.”

I want to be that – Super-ager!

Since my mission is to help Boomers and Retirees live healthy, vibrant and fulfilled.

I know that happens when your mind, body and soul are pushed.

Nothing feels better than to be challenged by something and finally figure it out as if you always knew how to do it - that sweet spot, where you say, “I’ve got this.”

The problem is it doesn’t start there. So many people aren’t willing to start something new, especially at this age.

It’s more comfortable, or so you think, to stay where you are.  But as Tony Robbins says, “If you aren’t growing, you’re dying.”

You get stale, too settled and lose the zest for life.

If you don’t stretch your mind, then your attitude begins to constrict.  It limits your possibilities and your joy.

If you can have grace with yourself and be okay that learning something new does take time, then maybe you can do what you love even if you don’t know how or are afraid.

Here are three phases you go through whenever you try something new:

The first phase is the The Honeymoon stage.  It’s the childlike feeling of excitement and fun of  doing what you love.  But then, the gremlins take over and convince you it’s not possible,

IF you let them.

Just like for me doing these live videos on Facebook and Periscope.

I love sharing information.

I love helping people see what’s possible.

I love connecting with people.

That childlike feeling comes over me.  Fun, vigor and excitement.

BUT, the fear of technology and looking incompetent can override the joy.

I finally decide I will do it.

People have been nice to me about me sharing and trying something new.

I’m proud of myself for doing it - even though I am afraid, and a beginner.

I’m proud of myself that I’m not letting that inner critic take charge totally and I’m willing to show my imperfections.

I do need to figure out where I look so my eyes are looking straight to you, my audience.  I think I’m doing that, but I’m off to the side.  I do get excited at times and look up and around, talk with my hands so sometimes not so stable.

Another big step for me is, I see my new learning from another perspective. I’m allowing myself some grace as a novice.  Rather than fighting with myself, waiting until it has to be perfect and that everything I say has to be right,

I am doing it!!!

Undoing old behaviors can be hard… but healthy.

Truth is it took me a while to get here.  My resistance and fear held me back.  I still hear the excuses pop-up.

I’m finally looking at this as an opportunity to connect, to build my tribe rather than let the fear keep me from doing it.

What better way is there than to get some ideas out there for people to ponder than being LIVE.

For me it’s about getting out of my head and into my heart. Then, I can have the experiences be more fun, light-hearted.  I feel the joy of serving, making life better for others.

When I’m in my head, the critic is on a wild rampage. It’s all about me when those conversations go on.  I lose the joy and even want to quit or not do it.

The next phase is The Fight - practice, experience and repetition.

Your critic will most likely take over in this stage.

It’s easy to give up. Because it isn’t natural at this level or  it’s not where you know it can be.

Figuring out something new can cause you to lose the fun and joy of what you are doing.

You focus too much on the technicalities of what you are doing.

Those gremlins take over.

You make it wrong not to know how.

Trying to be perfect right off the bat, get it “right” or make it better can be tedious and unsettling.

It takes discipline and habit to integrate it in your life.  Monotonous at times.

It takes - Repetition, repetition and repetition.  Practice, practice, practice.

As Michael Jordan said,  “I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

Enjoy the journey.

I’m getting more comfortable.  I know a few steps to take.

I bought a selfie stick tripod to provide a variety of places where I can present my live streaming.

This is the time to remind yourself what your purpose is. Stay focused on your WHY.  Lighten up.

Stay in the game.

The last phase is The Second Nature phase, where it’s easy.  It’s easy because you have practiced, adjusted, and made it your own.  It’s easy and part of you, and your repertoire. It is part of your routine.

Remind yourself it’s like learning to drive a car.  You had to learn all the different parts and strategies of driving, until one day all the parts came together.  Driving was natural, you didn’t have to think about it any longer.

As you stretch your mind, remember to be kind and have grace with yourself.

Nurture your soul while traversing unknown territory.

  • If there are too many battle scars from the words and thoughts you use, then you miss the chance of loving what you are doing.
  • Take time to realize how much you are doing for your mind and spirit when you are learning and growing.
  • Give yourself 3 cheers that you were willing to try something new.

 Hip, hip, hooray! Hip, hip, hooray! Hip, hip, hooray!

It’s important that you make the most of this fourth quarter of life.

That means continuing to challenge yourself.

Keep your life fresh!

Make choices that YOU love.

And, most of all enjoy the process.  Be kind to yourself.  Keep grace by your side.

Not always easy, but worth working through the process of living your best life.

Share with me something new you are learning that’s stretching your mind.  What phase are you in the process?  How did you move through the gremlins?