What Do You Really Want This Holiday Season

The secret to having the holiday season you want is to be clear about what you want.

With Thanksgiving and Christmas coming, there is a tendency to have feelings of being frantic and disheveled. The holidays can bring up anxiety, hurt and frustrations. Or, you could love the feelings of celebration, busyness, and family get together s.

I have always loved the holidays as they represent time our family gets together. Even if it feels busy, frantic or whatever, I can put that aside and choose to cherish the time we are together. My family of origin chose Christmas as a priority to spend some time together. No matter where we were across the country, we made it to my parents for Christmas. It became trickier when we had children but still got together. We loved the chaos of all our children and families being together.

Now we are in a new phase of our lives, have grandkids and adult kids married, it makes for some concerted effort to schedule in our time together. There has been transitions and changes to try to accommodate the different family needs and our desires. But foremost for us is to have some time together. Sometimes schedules don’t allow that to happen and we try to make the most of the situation. Our top desire will always be trying to be with all the children.

What is your idea of how you want your holiday season to be? What does it look like, feel like? Is it joyful, festive, quiet and/or peaceful? Does it include family or time for solitude? Is it time to begin separating yourself from people who no longer serve your highest and best good? What fits YOU best?

Use this holiday season to begin creating the life you want. Start paying attention to the choices you are making and what they are creating in your life.

Know how this time of year effects you. Honor your feelings whatever they might be.

If you feel anxious because of past holidays, what is coming up for you? How can you change that? You can’t change your past but you can create your future differently. Awareness of what you are feeling is the first step to healing and creating something better for yourself.

Did you have an alcoholic family member that was abusive?
Did you feel abandoned during these times?
Did you feel financially strapped?
Were there family arguments?

What can YOU control about that situation today? How can you move beyond those scenarios? Do you feel pressured to attend functions that make you uncomfortable? If so, then how can you protect yourself to ensure nothing happens to you again? Who can you lean on to help make sure “those” people are not around you? And if they are, what is your game plan to remove yourself from the situation? You cannot control other people but you can make choices to live the life you love.

Take time to note what feels great to you and what feels off. Make a plan to change what doesn’t feel good to you. Decide to change one thing you no longer want to do. For instance, if you are tired of going to so many parties and functions.

Choose 1 or 2 of them to no longer go to. You will be amazed at the freedom you feel. Note why you feel the pressure to attend – does it make you feel important, like you have lots of friends, like you belong or is it what’s most important to you to be a part of those type of functions?

Know what matters to you and how it fits with what you value for your life. Do more of that.

You are in charge of creating your life.

Decide that you are taking charge of your life, and creating your life the way you want it to go this holiday season. Get rid of things that don’t give you joy and happiness.
One step at a time.

Decide that you are no longer going to let outside circumstances control your life.

Decide your past is not going to create your future, unless it is in of your plan.

Life is precious. Let this holiday season pave your path to your brightest year ever.

What is one thing you need to change to make your holidays more peaceful and loving?

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