What Matters to You – Dottie Hager

One of the benefits of aging is that you tend to have greater clarity about what matters to you. And, an unwillingness to get involved in things that others think you “should” do or that don’t fill you up.

It allows you to narrow down what works for you and what doesn’t.

As you go through your days and your life, and the choices you make, are you paying attention to what matters to you and what feels right for YOU?

Have you taken the time to get clear about what you want for the next decades, or the rest of your life?

A couple of the tools I teach that can help you are:

PAY ATTENTION to your feelings about everything you do. Use your feelings as your emotional guidance system. Use the contrast of situations that you like or don’t like as guides in your life. If it feels good, keep doing it. If it doesn’t, make some adjustments. But notice. The more you do what you love, the more your life expands and manifests your desires. Your life flows and is more enjoyable.

KNOW the feelings you want to experience in everything you do. If those aren’t present in your life whether personal, work or relationships, shift something to feel those. Like for me, I want joy, love, connection, ambition, freedom and generosity to come through in all I share or experience.

Take time to create the life you want.

We just returned from a cruise to the British Isles. We enjoyed the adventure. We saw some fabulous places and learned about other cultures.

We started in Amsterdam. As bicycle people, we have never seen a place that had so many bicycles everywhere. We needed more time there and better planning to get in the art museums – Van Gogh, Anne Frank and all the things Amsterdam offers.

We went to the British Open. I followed Jordan Spieth, hole to hole for a while, saw some of other favorites, Rory McElroy, Rickie Fowler and others. Saw the magic of the tournament.

We visited Liverpool and saw where the Beatles grew up, and learned more about their history. Fun, for us Boomers, who lived our lives through their music.

As we were assessing, what’s next for us, one of the realizations I had was I don’t like dreary weather, darkness around. We had to prepare for that every day.

It was a great time BUT my heart didn’t zing and my spirit didn’t soar.

I know I am in charge of how my days go no matter the outer conditions. We DID make the most of our time. BUT

Something was off. I was paying attention to my emotional guidance system.

I like being around sunshine. It makes me feel more alive, happy and connected. Rainy, cold and dark skies are not my idea of a fun vacation. I didn’t feel the freedom, connection that happens when it’s right for me.

As much as we love to travel, London was never on my list to visit because it always felt dark and dreary. Yet, I know so many people love it, it has a depth of historical context, and I know it has great significance in our world. I know I “should” but could never get excited about it.

Now I know why. I know more about what matters to me.

I have wanted to experience the world. I didn’t think about it from a perspective of what mattered to me as much as I wanted to take it all in.

But now, I have realized that there are just some places that are not for me EVEN though they have great history, opportunities and culture.

Just like with all of life, there is a smorgasbord of opportunities.

What you choose and what I choose may not be the same. It doesn’t make it right or wrong, it is just different.

Travel is one way I understand life better.

The important message is to know what matters to you. Sometimes you have to experience things to know at the most subtle level why it’s not right for you. Let that help you to get closer to what it is you desire.

Pay attention to all that life sends your way. Take what feels right and leave the rest.

Live a life that matters to you no matter how trite or small the choices may be.

Where in your life do you need to assess what matters to you, to get clearer on what you want for your life? Sign up for a discovery call with me to help you gain clarity and focus.