The first chapter in my book, Making Your Dreams Come True, is about taking responsibility. I made it the first chapter because, above all else, when you realize that you can create the life you want, you must take responsibility - for the good and the bad, or not what you wanted. They are all critical to your growth, life, and journey to your Higher Self.
It amazes me that you spend approximately 18 years with your parents and blame them for what they did or didn't do for the rest of your life. Yet, somehow they control much of what you do or choose in your life - even into the 7th decade of living unless you consciously decide you are creating the life YOU want.
How does your childhood influence you?
What would you say about how you are letting the past define your choices for today?
Yes, what you learned can be a starting point to help you decide and choose what you desire today. But, you often live from unconscious beliefs and habits—many of which can serve you well. In my coaching, I know many are holding you back or causing significant pain. You are wondering why your life isn't changing.
Life can feel heavy and hard until you are willing to check out what is creating the pain and own it.
You might have a belief:
"I have to be responsible for everyone even though they are grown up and have their own life." But is that true?
"It shouldn't be that way." Based on what? Who are you blaming? Notice who you are trying to make wrong.
"I can't cause my family wouldn't approve." This is YOUR life.
You might not like things, which is just fine, but instead of blaming others, decide what you can do to make your life or way, better. Like if you have to wait longer than you want to get into a doctor. Ask empowering questions like: "What is right about this I'm not getting?" "How can this be easy?" "What else is possible?" It changes the energy and opens you to new solutions you haven't thought of.
Complaining keeps you resistant.
Did you know your mind limits your life? Your mind is filled with the past. You only think of the solutions you have experienced. For instance, as you know, I tore my hamstring from the bone playing Pickleball. Even though Pickleball brings me great joy and fun, and great exercise, I haven't gone back because of the fear of the past. You might say that is smart. But the truth is if I'm using the past to help create my future, I will make sure I've prepared myself to be healthy again and go out and play, which I have.
But, right now, I am limiting myself to more joy because I'm living from fear and the past. Instead of being open to the possibilities of joy and opportunities. I can let the past inform my future rather than limit it.
How much of your day are you living from the past and complaining or blaming others for it? So your husband didn't do this, your kids or the government caused problems?
All of that keeps you in victimhood. You feel helpless and hopeless.
What if, instead, you could KNOW you have the power to choose again and find a more helpful and empowering way? That you would feel good about? That serves you.
Like last week, I was telling you about my river and biking cruise. It was raining and fairly cold. We could have blamed the weather and the situation for ruining our day, but instead, we chose to go out and enjoy biking. Biking was what we wanted to do. We felt supported by all the others to go out and enjoy it anyway.
We could have chosen not to go and found other ways to enjoy the day, too, WITHOUT blaming circumstances or others for our day.
Yes, life can be hard.
Yes, things happen that you and I don't like
Yes, there are things out of your control.
Blaming others leaves you with low energy, a bad attitude, and stuck in the past. It doesn't feel good.
To help you live your best life, become more conscious and aware of how you react or respond to situations.
Catch yourself when you begin blaming.
Notice if there are certain people or situations you lash out at, blame or do wrong.
Then, stop and breathe. Awareness is the first step to change. If that is all you can do, to begin with, that's huge. You are beginning to shift the life you have.
Celebrate any time you catch yourself.
And the big shift happens when you ask for something greater to come to you. A new possibility, a new way to see that situation or circumstance.
The blaming can change to taking responsibility.
Be open to ALL the possibilities of the Universe. Be open to your past and your mind. That is all you know, but there is always a greater way to achieve whatever you are experiencing. Just like this weekend, I took some grandsons to Orr's Farm.
We had been there before, and it was ok. This time it was SO fun, much bigger, and many more opportunities for them. I didn't let the past decide whether we'd go again. I was willing to try and see, as I had heard there were new things. A whole new world
Or, like in the Amsterdam airport where reports were that it could take 4 hours to get through to your gate. I kept asking, "How could this be easy?" "I'd like extraordinary favor." Then all of a sudden, a new line opened, and new check-in gates opened. We were through in an hour. I wasn't willing to stay in the low energy of blaming or frustration with the situation.
You decide the fate of your life and daily living.
Decide there is another way. Take responsibility for the life you want.
Know you don't have to know how or what, but if you believe the world is open for you, amazing things can happen for you.
Pay attention to your state of being.
Who or what do you need to stop blaming so your life can be more peaceful, loving, and fulfilling?
Have faith in what is possible when you take responsibility for your life rather than blame.