Category: Love Your Life Blog

It is such an empowering feeling when you feel like you can do something about situations in your life or the world. Or, is that only me – the controller of the Universe?

There are many places in our world today where people are frightened, hurting, and concerned for their safety, their children and their future.

In the midst of these unsettling times such as economic downturns or disasters, people have the right to feel unsettled. Just like with the terrorist acts in Belgium and Paris, and oh, how close to home with 9/11 or the Oklahoma City bombing.

But, an important thing to remember is that when you feel empowered or like you can do something, it will help you feel better You will not feel like a victim or out of control. You will return to a calmer and more peaceful place more quickly when you take charge of what you can do.

Stephen Covey talks about your circle of concern and your circle of influence. There are situations out of your control and when you get worked up over things you can’t do anything about, you are giving your power and health away. When I was a principal, there were laws, rules and regulations the federal government, state government or the district gave us. If I didn’t agree with them, I could have worked with the legislators or policy committees to voice my concerns before they happened or offer new solutions to help make the situation better. That was my circle of influence or concern.

Otherwise, it did me no good to be in angst over them because the only person it was hurting was me. I could choose peace or frustration.

My choice.

Do what you can, where you can rather than allow the situation (s) to rule, ruin or destroy your life.

When uncertain, horrific things happen in life, you need to decide personally what you can do about it. Watching fearful images shown over and over again, keeps the situation repeating in your life. Your nerves, emotions become unsettled. You are staying stuck in fear.

This is your life, take charge of it in your circle of influence. You can’t change that the bombings happened or the oil prices went down. You can stay away from the media. You know it happened, you don’t need to feed that anymore. Get the information you need, and move on. Make choices that make you feel safer, in the direction you want for your life. For me, that is more love, joy and peace. I make decisions to add more of that to my life, and an even greater effort when things go array. I need to get balanced again, feel safe and secure. I find situations that show me where people are doing great things in the world, helping others rather than destroying. I reach out in my coaching because I want to teach people how to take charge of their lives so they feel more in control, especially during these scary, painful and hurtful situations.

Find strength and courage to look at the reality without staying in the fear. Is it easy, not at times. Especially if the situation is close to home, like a loved one is diagnosed with a terminal illness, or lost a job, or the disaster hits your home or neighborhood.

But you have choices. You must know what restores you back to a peaceful, loving place when you are derailed. Yes, life does that to you and me. Do you need more faith and trust rather than living in the fear? What rituals can you do that help you? Put structures in place that can guide you back to serenity. Find support and resources that can help you change the direction of your thoughts.

Tips for taking charge of your life for a more peaceful life:

1. Who or what are you listening to?

A way to know how this is impacting your life is to ask the question, “How do I feel during it or after seeing or hearing this?”

1. If you feel good, calm and peaceful then you have made a choice in alignment with your heart and soul. If you feel anger, hurt or discouragement, limit the amount of time you spend in these situations. They are not healthy for your well-being. Work toward eliminating them from your life.
2. You are letting fear guide you if you choose to continue behavior that is not in the best interest of your well-being. You are being a victim rather than being in charge of your life.
3. For example, tornado season is about to happen in Oklahoma. Rather than spending hours of worry listening to or wondering if one might come near you.

• Make your surroundings safer for you ahead of this season. Yes, they do happen.Have your plan of what everyone in your household will do when the alarms go off.
• Follow through on the plans.

2. Take some action to make the situation better. Be part of the solution.
Keeping with the tornado theme.

• If you know of some area that was hurt from the destructive action, donate. Donate your time, money or supplies they need. Take some kind of action. Action is empowering.
• Do one thing to make your home or area safer in case one comes near your home.

Remind yourself, you have a choice – are you responding to life or are you reacting? Yes, “stuff” happens, but it is whether you are playing victim or victor over your life.

dottiehager.com

I’m really shocked at what the public is allowing in this political campaign.

I know, first amendment. But, what happened to our core values of love and compassion? I know the public is fed up with the political shenanigans.

I love that people have become passionate about wanting change with the way politicians have been doing business. They are tired of the waste and untruths. They are showing up in droves at the voting booth to speak their voice.

But…

What about dignity and respect?

It’s so hard for me to watch when people are hurt or are hurting others. Words hurt. My ideology is that care about each other and treat each other with regard even when we disagree.

I KNOW from my coaching work, that most people are wrapped in layers of pain from words. Words spoken that crushed their soul, their self-esteem and their worth.

Lost family relationships, or friendships, resentments, shame, and hatred from words said.

I can’t be quiet.

The ramifications are big.
What is your ideology? As defined by the dictionary, “It is a system of beliefs or theories, usually political, held by an individual or a group.” You can tell when you ask yourself, “What am I mad about?” You will notice things stirring up inside of you. Just like me with this election, I can’t stand the hateful put downs and meanness that is being thrown around.

What is at the core of what you belief? What is your system of beliefs?
Are you walking that talk? Are you staying the high road?

A great example of someone living their ideology is James Twyman, a musician and author who refers to himself as the “Peace Troubadour.” He, too, is upset about the ramifications of this rhetoric. He sent out a video and asked people to join him try to harmonize some of this hurtful behavior. He says, “Imagine what would happen if groups of people attended rallies for all the candidates wearing T-shirts that say: ‘Meditating For Peace” while holding a space of silence during the speeches and activity.”

The energy and focus could change.

Maybe you aren’t involved or affected by this campaign season. But what is important to notice is that when you are mad about something. Then, make sure you stay in alignment with what is the TRUTH for you.

Do not let outside circumstances pull you out of integrity, into the gutter hold fast to your core values.

Whether that’s with an argument you may get in, frustrated over automative answering services or a political campaign.

Where do you need to get back to your core values and let go of outside interferences that are pulling you down?

Let this election cycle be a reminder to live with peace, love and integrity.
dottiehager.com

Life is Precious.

How are you making the most of your life? Are you making sure the people in your life know they matter to you?

Recently, I’ve been a part of a couple of events that are great reminders to cherish your life and the people you love.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the busyness of the schedules and lifestyles you created.

Last year, one of my younger sisters started having some speech problems. Her family noticed that she wasn’t the nonstop talker and gregarious person she had been. At first it appeared that she maybe had a stroke but the test results were negative. Each time we talked it was harder to understand her, and her speech was slow. More often than not, she doesn’t answer the calls now. She wasn’t getting any better so they contacted a new neurologist who thought she did have a stroke. He sent her to speech therapy to try to help but she continued to get worse. Now, she’s having problems swallowing so isn’t sleeping well or eating much. Her daughter told my daughter, you better appreciate your mom and spend as much time as possible with her because you never know when they are gone or change and can’t participate in your life like they did.

It hit me hard. My niece has 4 children. She told me this is the hardest thing she’s ever been a part of. She said, “I wish I would have her back one month ago, a few months ago and know to cherish where she was.” She said, “Today is going to be the best day she has, so I need to enjoy that.”

Shocking reality.

Then our massage therapist shared she was talking and texting with her mother-in-law about raising some chicken again for them. And boom, the next day she died.

Are you stopping and smelling the roses in your life?

I was listening to Bronnie Ware talk about living a regret free life. She talked about the most common regrets from the dying people she cared for were:

• I wish I had let myself be happier.
• I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
• I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.
• I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
• I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

How can this message be a wake up call to begin right now to take the time to enjoy your life? Fill it with things you love, dance like nobody is watching and make that call you have been putting off.

Someday, isn’t one of the days of the week.

Beginning today, make small steps to living a life you love, not one you’ll regret.

Start smelling the roses and make the most of the life you have been given.

Share with me on Facebook what is something you regret that you haven’t done or that you put off.

dottiehager.com

Wouldn’t it be great if you lived a life you love? That you didn’t have to run or hide from all you desire and want out of life. Or, believe it is possible for you.

As you look over your life, what year helped you be closer in love with your life? What had to bust open for you to see a greater vision for your life? Or could this be the year for you?

For me, it was 2001 when I completed my coaching. I was able to put some pieces together that completely changed how I understood life and lived it:
I understood how the dark in my life(my divorce) had some gold for me. I began a newfound relationship with God as a loving God, not a punitive and judging one.

• I learned to own and love all parts of myself, even those areas I saw as bad or wrong or mistakes I’d made. I began truly living from a place of gratitude and appreciation.
• I realized I had all the answers within me, not by trying to be the best but by listening to God and to my soul’s calling.
• I figured out that I create my own reality. That I had the power and choice to create the life I love.

My life was forever changed.

My cup runneth over because I know how to create a life I want. I know what I want. I know God intends for us to live an abundant life. I know how to get back on track when I’m derailed. I have the tools and resources to guide me to the life I love.

I want that for you. I see too many people barely getting by or just not excited by life. It is a blessing to be alive. I want to help others live life fully.

You don’t need to play small, back off from what you love.

When you focus on what you love and how to enjoy it, life gives you more of it. When you don’t believe you can have more, that is what you get. It doesn’t have to be that way. I know because I was once there.

The moment you say yes and decide you deserve more, is the moment that you will see more and more doors open for you.

Don’t underestimate the power of this time to focus on what you truly love.

It all starts with an inner game process.

We are in Maui as I write this. One of our favorite places ever. After our first visit, Bo and I realized we wanted to have this as part of our life. Our friends came every year, and why couldn’t we. At first, it seemed far fetched to think about coming to Hawaii every year. But, it’s been nine years since we began coming here for a couple weeks at a time. Our hearts and soul are filled. It has what we love – outdoors, adventure, beauty, whales, peace, fun, and magical, uplifting energy. We are so grateful, and appreciate it more and more because it fills our hearts and souls.
We created this dream, and you can too.

Have you had enough settling for a crumb here or there? Or are you ready to create the magic in your life?

What are you desiring?

How can what I learned through my transformation, help you live the life you want? You, too, can create the reality you want rather than unconsciously living life as it is. Begin by:

ASKING for what you want. You need clarity and excitement to bring it forth.

RECEIVE. Are you open to letting it come to you? Or is “that voice” telling you that you can’t have it, you’re too old, you’re asking for too much, or it’s only in fairy tales that people live a life they love.

No matter where you are, if you are ready for magic to be in your life, God is willing to provide it for you. You have to believe it is possible and be open to receive.

What do you need to allow it in? What’s in your way?

What can I do to help support you to put back the magic in your life and learn the tools you need to create a life you love?

Go to dottiehager.com and sign up for a complimentary discovery session

As this holiday season is nearing the destination of Christmas and New Years, how are you choosing to live in peace and love? How are you sharing the Good News?

It’s so easy to get into the frantic mindset of all the events leading up to the holidays as well as the feelings you have about what gifts you are giving.

I want to simplify that for you. How about thinking about giving your gifts from the “language of love” your recipient receives from?

Sometimes you work so hard to figure out the right things to give, only to be left feeling unappreciated or not valued for what you gave. These feelings can be changed when your focus is on how the person you are giving receives. That is usually backwards for most of us. Often gifts are given from what you love.

What if instead you shifted your focus to how they receive?

In the Five Languages of Love by Gary Chapman, he talks about the necessity to understand how each person in a relationship receives love. Because often, you feel like the other person doesn’t get you, doesn’t really know what you like. Generally, left frustrated because what they do doesn’t speak to your needs. For greater love and understanding of the people you share this life with, check into his five languages of love. They are:

• Acts of Service
• Physical Touch
• Words of Affirmation
• Receiving Gifts
• Quality Time

“He suggests there are three ways to discover your own primary love language:

1. What does your spouse do or fail to do that hurts you most deeply? The opposite of what hurts you most is probably your love language;
2. What have you most often requested of your spouse? This is likely the thing that would make you feel most loved; and,
3. In what ways do you regularly express love to your spouse? Your method may be an indicator of how you want to be loved.”

(To find out what your love language is and others in your life, visit www.5lovelanguages.com and take the quiz.)

So for me, my husband loves acts of service. What acts of service can I do for him this holiday season? I can give him “tickets” of things I will do for him that I know he appreciates such as empty his suitcase from our travels, help him with the computer or get the beer for his geriatric biking group celebration. When he sees those tickets, he will know that I value what he loves. Then it makes me feel really good that I can feel the joy he has from receiving something HE loves. It’s a win, win, greater love and deeper connections.

What’s it for you and those you are sharing time and gifts with this holiday season? The Languages of Love is the gift that keeps on giving. Take time to know what matters to them.

So as you are finalizing your GIFTS for this holiday season, use the “good news” of the languages of love as your guide.

Let me know if you could feel the good news of more peace and love by sharing from their language of love. Post what your language of love is in our Facebook group.

Happy Holidays!

One of my favorite things to do is to learn. I am obsessed with how to be the best I can be whether that be mentally, emotionally, spiritually or physically. I love the possibilities. Every year I am in awe of all the world has to offer beyond what I could imagine.

This time of year speeds up my quest of what’s possible because it’s about goal setting and focusing on what you want the new year to bring. Yes, I know the statistics that people who have set resolutions have already let them slip away.

But for me, it’s a yearning, a thirst for more, just like Maslow said, the self-actualized life. So it propels me to even greater engagement.

Happy to live by my own rules to grow and contribute.

I read magazines like Entrepreneur, Fast Company, Fortune, Forbes, People and Science of Mind to expand my thinking and my world in a variety of ways.

• Have you seen the top 30 under 30? It is so exciting seeing what younger people are creating by being ninjas.
• Do you know that the first group of Baby Boomers are turning 70 in 2016? Cher, Sylvester Stallone, Bill Clinton, Diane Keaton, Pat Sajack, Steven Spielberg all turn 70 this year. Do you know the impact they have made by following their rules and passions?

And, I am even more excited about the value this passion has after reading my February 2016 Science of Mind magazine. Dr. James Rouse reports about a study in “Psychology and Aging” that focuses on what factors caused people to live longer. They observed more than 1000 people ages 60-86 over a five-year period. They concluded that you could live longer if you were awed by life, if you were willing to be open to learn, if you try new things, and if you had a high level of curiosity for life.

I nailed this one, live longer. Yippee!

How about you?

• Where are you in awe of life?
• Willing to learn?
• Try new things?
• Be curious for life?
• What brightens your world?
• What can you do for hours and never get tired of?

It’s time to get serious about doing what you love. If you haven’t thought about that for a while, listen to my February monthly call, What Are You Doing with the Rest of Your Life, on Tuesday, February 2nd or the replay. You can find that on my website dottiehager.com Download the worksheet on creating your Bucket List. It can help you get focused on what you want to do with your life, to help you bring back the joy and passion, and to help you live longer.

I’ve been working on my new project, Thriving in UnRetirement. One of the exciting things for me is connecting with people who are doing unbelievable things in their life after retirement.They are changing the rules of aging.My plan is to CHANGE the rules for retirement so it’s not the end but the beginning of a whole new adventure, with YOU defining YOUR rules for how you are playing out this game of life.

I’m creating a new image of what’s possible for the next decades of life. I’m on a mission to help people KNOW they can live a healthy, vibrant and fulfilling in their next thirty years when you change the rules and have a different image of what retirement and aging means.

What’s calling you?

Can I count on you to join me? Post in the FACEBOOK group what you are doing to change the rules to Thrive in UnRetirement.
If I can help you think about your possibilities, sign up for a complimentary discovery session on my webpage.

dottiehager.com

In my last blog, I encouraged you to look back on your 2015 for the highlights and the things that you no longer wanted in your life. Often, it is easier to think about what you want than letting go of the past or your stuff.

As you move forward in 2016 with all your dreams, aspirations, and resolutions, it’s important to leave behind those things that no longer serve you. It will bog you down if you don’t.

Here’s how detoxing your 2015 can make your resolution come to life.

If you are you like most people who make resolutions, you said you are going to live a healthier lifestyle for the next year.

Did you decide what a healthier lifestyle entails so you CAN “achieve” your resolution? Does that mean you focus:

• On what you eat — less meat, more organic; more fresh foods, less or no processed? How many times a day, a week?
• On what you think — like choosing a more positive outlook on things, seeing things from a glass half full rather than half empty; choosing more inspiring thoughts rather than judging thoughts? Such as, I will begin my day with positive….stories, thoughts, etc.
• On how much you are moving your body — are you walking more; standing instead of sitting at your computer; using a Fitbit to help keep track of your activity, to motivate you? How many days will you walk, how far?
• On better choices for what fills your day — like what you read, listen to, or who you hang out with?

Then, after you decided what a healthier lifestyle means for you, you have to let go of the parts of your past that are in contrast of your resolutions so you can have success with them.

Detoxing is one way to open up space for you to live that healthier, vibrant and fulfilling life.

Detoxing is a process of cleaning out-as stated in wikipedia “Detoxification or detoxication (detox for short) is the physiological or medicinal removal of toxic substances from a living organism, including the human body, …”

What were some of the things you no longer wanted from 2015?

Take time to let them go.

Do you need to detox your mind, body, and/or home?

• If you want to eat healthier, then it’s time to clean out the pantry and refrigerator to make sure you have the foods you want.
• Does your body need cleansing? Take time to learn about the benefits of detoxing your body from all the chemicals ingested through daily living.
• Is your closet full of clothes you haven’t worn in years and you keep thinking you will be that size? I’m guilty, this will be a great reminder for me.
• Are your garage and attic full of things you haven’t used in years? How about any mini-storages?
• Could your thoughts, limiting beliefs, and resentments be cluttering up your mind, keeping you down?
• Is your mind full of negative input? Shut off television. I heard that most people spend half of their leisure time watching tv. I don’t watch much television. But the other day I was trying to find a commercial that my son-in-law is in from Integris, and quickly was affected by the craziness of what they were showing.

You can choose something simple like detoxing from television to live healthier and more vibrant.

Where is DETOXING calling you?

Get rid of whatever may be keeping you from living your healthy, vibrant life.

Fill your time with things you love to do. Do things that will raise your energy and aliveness with life, clear out a drawer, a closet. Fill your rooms, house and office with only the things that have meaning for you and that make your heart sing with joy.

You can SUCCEED with a healthier, vibrant and fulfilling 2016 when you decide what you will no longer take with you into this new year and commit to your resolutions.

Share with me on FACEBOOK one thing you are committed to leaving behind in 2015.

The new year always brings new possibilities for your life. It’s a time that creates momentum to look at your life, to create a life you have dreamed of.

Begin by reflecting on YOUR 2015:

• What went well? What do you want more of? Did you settle for less than your best life?
• Were there turning points?
• What do you want differently than what you experienced?
• Did you measure the wrong things? Who is guiding your life?

Take time to release those things that you do not want to carry forward. They will create baggage for you whether they are events, beliefs or thoughts.

You can write them out on a sheet of paper and burn them.

Then, the next step is to write out a gratitude list of all that happened for you, even if you perceive it as negative. Those situations help clarify what you don’t want. They can be helpful in your growth if you can see the benefit. After you write out your list, look at “why” you were grateful for these items. You want to acknowledge what you want more of in your life.

For instance, I wrote out excited about my coaching clients. I am so appreciative of them, how I help them but also how they have expanded my world as well as the financial benefits I receive.

I wrote out losing weight (even though not nearly where I want) but I am eating healthier, making better choices – less process, less meat, more organic. I am loving my body more as I see how blessed I am to be as healthy I am. I see it from a larger perspective of healthy well-being rather than just my weight. Big growth for me.

Then as you decide what YOU want for 2016 from your discovery, choose a plan that will work for you. Here are three different ways or use a combination of them.

1. How about using a little help from your inner wisdom, God or the Universe to help guide you? Instead of forcing or doing what you think you should or ought to do, how about using a power greater than you?

Take time to go within. Think and imagine all that you want to happen for you in 2016. Feel it, get excited about it. Then ask for guidance of what you need to do to make that happen. What is one thing that you want to experience to create “that” for 2016? Make your plan, break it down in chunks of doable actions.
What a great model this can be for helping shape your life! Commit to being still, going within, meditating for 5 minutes each day first thing in the morning.

Watch your life change.

You will feel more peaceful, more empowered, more focused just by this little change.

2. Another way to look at designing 2016 is the One Word Process by Jon Gordon, getoneword.com.Choose ONE word that could help create the life you want. Let it be something you can use in all areas of your life. Like fun, joy, healthy or action.(Can you imagine how much your life would be better and the world if we all chose any of those words?)How could your one word keep you focused for the year? By having one word it is more likely that you will follow through on what you want for the year. Share in the Facebook group your ONE WORD for 2016.
3. Iyanla Vanzant shares in Until Today sometimes you aren’t sure of how what you are doing plays a part of the purpose for your life. She explains that YOU“

• gain character as you lose ego
• gain integrity as you lose dishonesty
• gain strength as you lose fear
• gain compassion as you lose disappointment
• gain appreciation as you lose resentment
• gain discipline as you lose willfulness
• gain enthusiasm as you lose hostility
• gain tenderness as you lose rigidity
• gain optimism as you lose inadequacy.”

Where in your life could you use one of these ideas to propel your life in the direction you need for 2016?

Living your best life doesn’t have to be complicated.
Take charge of your life.

Become empowered to create the life you want.

Use this new year as motivation to get started. Choose something that matters to you.

Know your why it is important to your life. What will you need to do or who do you have to become to make it happen? Is it taking a course that can help you create the online business you’ve always wanted, is it losing weight or is it building your legacy?

Michael Hyatt shared in a recent blog, “Almost 40 percent of people in their twenties achieve their New Year’s resolutions each year, but not even 15 percent of those over 50.” And, also he shared as well as a few others I follow, “Dr. Gail Matthews of Dominican University found you’re 42 percent more likely to achieve your goals just by writing them down.”

Take time, write them down.

What are you willing to do to commit to create 2016 as your best year ever?

I’d love to help you by providing you with a FREE complementary Discovery Session. Go to dottiehager.com and sign up NOW.

As this holiday season is nearing the destination of Christmas and New Years, how are you choosing to live in peace and love? How are you sharing the Good News?

It’s so easy to get into the frantic mindset of all the events leading up to the holidays as well as the feelings you have about what gifts you are giving.

I want to simplify that for you. How about thinking about giving your gifts from the “language of love” your recipient receives from?

Sometimes you work so hard to figure out the right things to give, only to be left feeling unappreciated or not valued for what you gave. These feelings can be changed when your focus is on how the person you are giving receives. That is usually backwards for most of us. Often gifts are given from what you love.

What if instead you shifted your focus to how they receive?

In the Five Languages of Love by Gary Chapman, he talks about the necessity to understand how each person in a relationship receives love. Because often, you feel like the other person doesn’t get you, doesn’t really know what you like. Generally, left frustrated because what they do doesn’t speak to your needs. For greater love and understanding of the people you share this life with, check into his five languages of love.

They are:

• Acts of Service
• Physical Touch
• Words of Affirmation
• Receiving Gifts
• Quality Time

“He suggests there are three ways to discover your own primary love language:

1. What does your spouse do or fail to do that hurts you most deeply? The opposite of what hurts you most is probably your love language;
2. What have you most often requested of your spouse? This is likely the thing that would make you feel most loved; and,
3. In what ways do you regularly express love to your spouse? Your method may be an indicator of how you want to be loved.”

(To find out what your love language is and others in your life, visit www.5lovelanguages.com and take the quiz.)

So for me, my husband loves acts of service. What acts of service can I do for him this holiday season? I can give him “tickets” of things I will do for him that I know he appreciates such as empty his suitcase from our travels, help him with the computer or get the beer for his geriatric biking group celebration. When he sees those tickets, he will know that I value what he loves. Then it makes me feel really good that I can feel the joy he has from receiving something HE loves. It’s a win, win, greater love and deeper connections.

What’s it for you and those you are sharing time and gifts with this holiday season? The Languages of Love is the gift that keeps on giving. Take time to know what matters to them.

So as you are finalizing your GIFTS for this holiday season, use the “good news” of the languages of love as your guide.

Let me know if you could feel the good news of more peace and love by sharing from their language of love. Post what your language of love is in our Facebook group.

Happy Holidays!

Life is always giving back to you what you give out. As you think about what guides your life, what are those principles for you – be kind, compassionate, and do unto others as you would have done to you?

“How are they working for you?”

Do you truly allow your principles to help you as you make decisions, as you interact with people and go about your day to day discussions? I know most people say those things but how are you about walking the talk?

It’s so easy to get caught up in the media, politics and horror of things around you if that is your focus and the world you are surrounding yourself. How can use those situations as guideposts of what you don’t want, and spend more talk, energy on what you do want like living your life principles? How can you be part of the solution rather than keeping talking and engaging about the problems? Work on your circle of influence – your own life, your family, your extended family, your job, your friends, your colleagues, your church, and your environment and see where you and others in your circle can be kinder, more compassionate or whatever your standards of life are. It all starts with you and me DECIDING we do want a world, a community that is kinder, compassionate and lives the golden rule.

Take a moment to look where there is some disharmony in your life, and ask how you could shift that to be more in harmony with what’s most dear to you.

I know as I was growing up, I was in a very traditional church for more decades than not of my life. During my time there, my church taught me it was the only one, that its principles were the only way it was. But as life happened over and over there were situations that had me questioning those truths. Then I realized that yes, some of those principles were good but some were very judgmental, hurtful, hateful and cruel. One of the early ones was when a friend of mine was getting married in a “different” church and I wanted to go. I was taught, and interpreted, that if I entered that church I would go to hell because I was to only go to my church. How could I not feel guilty, hurt? Which do I choose, my friend’s wedding or the church I go to? What guilt and shame I felt for years. That builds up and creates inner disharmony. Such as,

Crazy ways I made all that mean in my life was:

• “My church” was better than yours.
• My way vs. Your Way
• You were bad or wrong if you chose a different church.
• I was Good vs. Others choices Bad
• Our way of thinking was the “right” way.
• I’m Right vs. Others are Wrong

What was kind, caring about those thoughts? I felt conflict about differences, differing opinions or ideas that weren’t “my” church or their doctrine. Those thoughts of separation built over the years.

I let “others” influence my decisions. Until I realized, I had a choice. I have choice with every situation to decide if it fits my principles of how I want my life to be. Does it take work, yes. For sure at the beginning, but it also creates harmony and joy because I am listening to my inner guidance of what is right for my life, my serving the world to help thousands live a life of more joy, love and abundance.

Sometimes it seems so crazy the things you pick up in life and follow as the way it is. I ask you take some time and make sure you are following the path that is right for you.

I am so thankful that my world burst open from my righteous ways even though it was quite painful. I now see things from a more loving, kind, compassionate way rather than being the judgmental, limited person I was during that time. So freeing.

Where in your life can you begin looking at places in your life you aren’t living to the highest? Where could you open to more loving, joyful ideas of how life can be?

Take this holiday season to look at all you have to be thankful for and why you are thankful for that. What does it add to your life? Cherish all the ways your life is in harmony. Find ways to share more of that gratitude and appreciation.

As “tis the season to be jolly” is approaching, how can you be more joyful, merry and give more of that?

Life gives back that which you are giving.