Category: Love Your Life Blog

The purpose of life is to grow into your perfection. The joy in life comes as you tap into your own gifts. That means you are to become yourself, not anyone else. You don’t need what other people have. You need only what lies within you. Everything is within you. You have heard about how Michelangelo carved the statue of David by chiseling away all that wasn’t him. That is the same thing for you. To discover your perfection, you begin the process of shedding the layers that are not the Divine you. Where do you begin?

The Course of Miracles says your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that have been built against it. Are you loving yourself? Who are you? The task then is to remove blocks, whether they are obstacles in the forms of hurts, un-forgiveness, outdated beliefs or resentments. Our growth occurs as the result of removing these obstacles and not actually from the need to acquire anything new. Yet, many of us think we have to have another degree, a certain job, hang out with a certain group of people, our bank account to be a certain amount of money before we are worthy or good enough. For me, I thought it was the other way around. I thought if I had it all together, then I would be worthy enough to have what I desired. The truth is that my Ph.D. and promotions filled some desires that I had but not the aching of my heart. The desire for those achievements was more to prove myself rather than seeing them as a tool to help me fulfill my heart’s passion. Where can you shift your thinking to align with discovering your perfection, to follow your heart?

You are shaped by the hopes and aspirations of your parents and the world around you. As you enter adulthood and begin living your own life, are you living your dreams or someone else’s dreams? Do you know you have a choice to live the life you want and deserve? Discover if you are living the life you wish to live. Each phase of your life is meant to be fulfilling not just going through the motion of moving into the next day doing the same things.  Begin to discover the life you desire rather than one you feel others expect of you. Are you a pleaser? Are you competing to show someone that you are better than a sibling you were compared to growing up? Are you proving yourself worthy? What grudges are you holding that you can remove? Where do you need to forgive yourself as well as where do you need to forgive others? Begin to see where you need to remove obstacles or shed layers of your past life that are no longer serving you to grow into your perfection. Discover what it is that you need at this time in your life to feel your heart’s desires. Have the courage to take steps towards reaching it. This is your life. You were given the present of your life at this time and place to fulfill a need. You will discover more and more about yourself as you pay attention to what feels right for you. Just like a garden, you need to cultivate the soil to allow plants to grow. Let go of all that is no longer serving you, claim that which is right for you today. You were meant for great things.  Keep the flame burning and keep your thoughts focused on what you desire.

This morning I listened to Carolyn Myss on the Oprah Soul Sunday show. She was talking about how each of us has come into this life with a purpose, a sacred contract. Carolyn wrote a book titled Sacred Contracts. She sees life as a classroom. Life is here to help you fulfill your purpose. The choice is yours whether you pay attention or not. Every choice you make either enhances you or drains you from living closer to your purpose. Begin by being true to yourself. That doesn’t mean you are not serving others and not helping others. It means that you are valuable enough to be included. It means you have something to share. You have a purpose. Everyone has some special gift that should be shared with the world.

Notice the ways you are not in alignment with your desires and purpose. You can know the difference by noticing if you are betraying yourself. These can be in small ways or large ways. Are you doing things that don’t feel right for you? You know. You might ignore the signals, but you know. Are you willing to take some small step to get you back on your life’s purpose? Begin in small ways. Have the courage to say what you want rather than worry that someone else is going to be upset about what you have to say or do. Life is meant to be fun.

Another major point Carolyn made was, you are to appreciate all that you have and all that has happened in your life. It’s all part of the puzzle of our life. As she said, “you can take the whoa path or the wisdom path.” You can use those things you wished didn’t happen into avenues of purpose rather than play the victim role. For instance, if you were abused, then you can find a way to heal yourself, and then help others heal. Make it a cause for you. You understand the hurt and harm it does to a life. You can help counsel or teach others ways to break the cycle.

It’s not always easy, but it is possible. You were meant for big things. Are you willing to break free and live your life purpose? What would it take to make that happen? What resources or direction do you need to help you take the next step? Are they enhancing your life?

On this journey to awaken to my greatest self, I am always questioning am I better person today than I was yesterday. Since I know our thoughts create our reality, I am wondering what are my thoughts today? Are they the same thoughts I thought yesterday? Or am I willing to grow and think about the life I’d like to live today, and change my thinking to support the new me I aspire to be? It’s a humbling process and a constant focus.

As we were planning for my new website, Katie wanted some pictures to add to it. A strange thing happened when I first saw the website and pictures of me on it. It felt joyful and exciting, yet thought provoking, something was off. I couldn’t understand it at first because I sent her some pictures of the things I love to do and of the places we love to go. We love to travel and be outdoors – biking, hiking, exploring, or anything to enjoy nature. It is what makes my heart sing. It brings me great joy, and awakens my spirit of adventure.

Yet, something inside of me went crazy. My internal critic took over blasting me about my site not being “professional” looking. My critic says there is a certain way you dress and act if you want people valuing what you have to offer. Since I was standing on top of some rocks in the ocean wearing my running shorts, what image am I projecting? How could anyone think I could be taken seriously when my page looks fun and alive? And, then I realized for us to grow to our greatest self, we have to be willing to free ourselves of thoughts, actions and beliefs that no longer serve us. I realized that I don’t have to “look” a certain way to be of value to others. I do want people to know life is meant to be fun and freeing. I want to be able to help people free themselves of shoulds, negative self-talk, limiting beliefs, and things in our lives that no longer serve you. So my hopes are that when you see the pictures, something inside of you wakes up to want to be more of who YOU are.

I know on this journey to “Awaken to a New You,” we have to be willing to grow, to become a more authentic version of ourselves every day. So today, I love these pictures because for me it represents my journey, my loves, and who I am proud to be.

Where in your life do you need to free yourself from something holding you down? What are some old beliefs that no longer serve you? What shoulds could you release from your life? Is fear guiding your life or are you doing what you love? Commit to making a change today with some old pattern or habit that is no longer serving you.

When you think about Perfect Health, what does that mean for you? For me, that definition has changed as I have aged. When I was young, I certainly took my health for granted. Everyone I knew was physically healthy. I just thought that was how bodies operated. My knowledge and understanding was quite limited. I was so blessed with health and didn’t even know it, or appreciate it. I never realized there was more to it. I didn’t understand the concept of mind, body and spirit. I never thought about the connection.

Over the last few decades, I feel blessed because of all the growth I have made in understanding how our mind, body and spirit work together. How to be in perfect health is to be balanced in all of these areas. I have learned that I have control over my health. I have learned to live a balanced life. I have learned when I am out of balance, how to get myself back centered. I value and appreciate my body, mind and spirit. I try to keep it healthy.  I realize when my mind is raging or is stressed, how that impacts my body. I realize how starting my day with even a few minutes of meditation, directs the course of my day to be more peaceful and calm.  I have learned about the nutritional values of food and how that impacts my mind and body, not just the way I look. I always thought health was our physical bodies and how it was functioning. My biggest concern was my weight and how I could keep it controlled. That usually took place dieting, not thinking about eating healthy, keeping my mind full of kind and loving thoughts, and connecting to God. Wow, it’s great to see how much I have grown and learned about Perfect Health. It’s always an area I will continue to grow and learn.

What is your definition of Perfect Health? How can you grow in your understanding of it? What is important for you to know today for you to be perfect health? Do you need to pay attention to your thoughts? Do you need to grow mentally? Do you need to learn more about nutrition and healthy eating? Do you need to exercise?  o you need to find a spiritual path that feels right for you? Do you need a connection to a Higher Power? Where in your life can you take action to a healthier lifestyle?

I love learning new things. Yet, I often feel very anxious when I’m a novice at something. I worry about how I might look. Will I look stupid? Will I do it “right?” Whenever there is a new task before me, I flounder wondering how I do this or will I ever get it. It can take away the joy of the opportunity before me. I like feeling that I am competent.

We recently went to Brush Creek Ranch in Wyoming. They offered fly-fishing so my husband and I went with the guide to learn how to fly-fish in the stream. It was beautiful. It was exciting and invigorating. I was able to do something I wanted to do. I got to have waders on, like the real deal. Years ago, I took fly-fishing lessons so I thought I might catch on quickly. Trey, our guide, showed us step-by-step how to do it before we went into the stream. We practiced each step. I felt like I was getting it. I was excited about my casting. Then when we got into the stream and I didn’t cast exactly right on each try. I realized how my anxiety went up. I wasn’t calm. I wasn’t so excited about learning something new. I was too worried about frustrating Trey with being a novice, not doing it all so correctly. I worried he was staying with me, and my husband didn’t get any attention. My husband was like a pro, wading down the stream. It was so neat to see him feel very comfortable. It was a splendid opportunity. What was I doing to myself rather than taking advantage of experience? I allowed my anxieties to override the excitement of growing and learning something new for awhile. I nearly allowed myself to miss the joy and fun of fly-fishing because of my own negative internal dialogue. I realized how many things I have probably missed out on because I don’t like that feeling of being a “novice.” How about you?

Where in your life are you keeping yourself from growing and enjoying more of life because of some hidden messages you are saying to yourself? Where can you release the grip of fear to move on through it to grow and be all you want to be? To do and be able to experience all that life has to offer?

I was listening to a lecture where the speaker stated that some of the wisdom he has learned about life is “Nothing in your life has gone wrong. See the perfection.” He went on to say we should have gratitude for every circumstance in our life. I am wondering how you are feeling just reading these words. Initially as I heard it I wanted to flood him with situations in my life to prove him wrong. I wanted to go back to some of the things in my life that have been hurtful. I wanted to say what about the mean things that have been said or done to me. Then as I could step away from the “wrongness” of my thoughts, I could try to shift and see his wisdom.

How did those areas give me some great life lessons? Did they wake me up to something better that I wouldn’t have seen? How did my life shift? Did I allow myself to stay stuck, blame others for these or other circumstances in my life? What am I making wrong in my life? Who am I making wrong? I could understand his wisdom just by stepping back and reflecting on how my life is richer for the living through the things I would have labeled as wrong in my life.

As I know, there is always another choice. I see where these hurtful situations have taught me that: I want to be kinder than those people or words that hurt me, and I have compassion for others that have gone through a divorce. I know how painful it is. The lesson is to get bigger than the situation. Face the pain, the hurt, the anger, the grief. But like he said, try to see the perfection. It certainly is not easy, nor did the speaker allude to that going through these things in life as being easy. Life can be hard at times. It’s what we do with these situations we are given, how we walk through these situations, and what we make them mean that creates our life. What are you creating in your life? Where in your life can you take a moment to see the perfection?  It’s all part of life’s journey to help us be the most loving people we can be, if we allow it to be.

This week when I attended my yoga classes, our instructor reminded us to honor our body and our practice for the day. She reminded us to think about what our body could do today not compared to any other day. She told us to be with it right where it was now. She reminded us to leave any competition at the door whether that is competition with ourselves or others.

It got my attention. I tend to be very competitive and want to out do what I have done before. The competitive drive to be the best, see what others are doing and try to catch up and surpass them has been my focus. This was a great wake-up call for me to see how I wasn’t focused on what I wanted, on why I do yoga. I wasn’t honoring myself by noting all the strength and flexibility that I have, or that I showed up for the class. I was doing something good for myself and I was missing the opportunity to acknowledge it. I was focusing on what I couldn’t do. There are so many chances to focus on what’s right. Are you capitalizing on them in your life? I am grateful that I “caught myself” so that I could shift my thinking to attract more of what I want. Yoga is a fabulous practice to make the mind, body connection as well as taking steps to a healthier life.

What words would you use to describe yourself? How is your internal conversation with yourself? Would you be one that could have a long list of loving things about yourself? Or would you find it easier to make a list of more negative thoughts or fear thoughts about yourself?

I know over the years when I was interviewing people, it appeared easier for people to list their weaknesses than their strengths. How can we receive what we want in life when we are not comfortable talking about our strengths or things that we love about ourselves? Are you fortunate to have learned to focus on loving yourself, focus on what’s right with your life? Think about what you are saying to yourself and about yourself. How kind are you to yourself?

I am teaching this class “A Course in Weight Loss – 21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering Your Weight Forever” based on Marianne Williamson’s book titled the same. All of us have tried numerous “diets” and have mostly had the weight return. The premise of this course is that weight problems are not about your relationship with food; it is about your relationship with love. “The cause of our excess weight is in our mind. Mind is the cause-body is effect.” (p. 10). The course is a journey in loving ourselves.

I can say that my words to myself have not always been the kindest, most loving words with excess weight on my body. What shifts in your thinking would have to be made to have more loving thoughts? Maybe you don’t have a weight problem. See how your words are creating your reality in an area that you are not having the results you want. If you think more about what you want in your life, and what is right in your life, you ultimately create more of what you want rather than what you don’t want.

Every day we have so many opportunities to look at life from the perspective of what’s right in our everyday interactions.  It’s important to focus on what we want so we aren’t creating more of what we don’t want.

Yesterday as my daughter and I were talking about the many changes they are going through in their life, it became very clear how easy it is to fall into the dark hole of negativity. They have just returned from being away from Oklahoma for the past year. They bought a house but it needs remodeling. It was supposed to be done by the time they returned August 1st.  Yet, all that is done is the demolition of the areas needing changes. They had to find a place to live for the month they will be displaced. The contractor has now given them a date of September 7th to be in their house. As they go by each day to see what is done, which is very little or none, it is easy to get frustrated, angry and ranting about why it isn’t done. Yet, where does that get them?  It doesn’t make the work happen quicker, it can build more stress for them, and it’s not up to them to do the work since they contracted it to be done. She said, we need some peace in our life, so we can’t let this get us.

It was a great example of trying to focus on what’s right or what you want more of in your life. She said we are all together for the first time in a year so we have a lot to be grateful for. It’s not always easy. If we take a few moments to ask ourselves what do we really want, we can have that little shift that opens up some clarity of what is really important. In a month or so from now, will all that nit picking, negative energy really be helpful or good for their lives?  Take a moment in your life, and ask yourself, what do you really want, and let that be your guide to how you live your life. If you want more peace, then as things like this show up in our life (which it does), just let peace be your focus for how you are handling the situation. As you find yourself ready to throw a fit, ask if that will give you the peace you are wanting in your life.  Remember, there is another way.  Focus on what you want rather than all the circumstances around us that are out of our control.

The Serenity Prayer comes in handy in times like these:

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can,
And, the wisdom to know the difference.

As we go through our life, are we focusing on what we want and what’s right in our lives? I never realized how unconscious my thinking was and how much I was living based on what I didn’t want. Mostly, I was going through my days on how compliant I was based on the rules of my family and the church.  So for me, most of my focus was what I didn’t want because I didn’t want to get anything wrong.  Don’t get me wrong, rules and structures can provide a framework for us, but I took it to mean I had to do worry about all the things I wasn’t supposed to do.  With just a little shift in my perspective and thinking, I was able to realize how I could begin focusing on what’s right in my life.  Gratitude and appreciation go a long way in creating a life you desire.  Start and end your day with gratitude prayers, and by writing in a journal about all you have going right in your life.

I never imagined the creative opportunities I had before me. I can choose my own thoughts and create my life based on those thoughts. I never realized the power of my thought. It is said that we have 60,000 – 90,000 thoughts a day and most of them are the same thoughts we had the day before.  We wonder why our lives are the same. If I want something different in my life, I have to first become aware of what I’m thinking. What do I want? What steps do I need to take to create that which I want? Where am I focusing my attention?  How clear am I about what I want?  We often are clearer about what we don’t want.   At any point and time, I can choose new thoughts based on what I want for my life.  Wow, what freedom!

Now that I know if I don’t like a situation, it’s just an opportunity to shift my thinking to what I want rather than stay stuck where I don’t want to be. I need to look for what’s right and build on it.  We attract that which we have the most energy expended, that which is wanted and that which is unwanted. You can tell which way you are heading by whether you like where you are or whether you don’t.   Shift the sails in the direction you want to head.  The shift can happen easily if we are open and allowing things to happen, or can take some time if we are resisting and have some strong beliefs holding us in place.  It can be anchored by all the resistance, and then we wonder why things aren’t changing.

What are you willing to take a look at in your life?  Complete the following: My life is_______________ &______________.  The world is_______________& _____________________________.  This is a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Your answers make all the difference in what you are creating for your life.  We get what we focus on and how we see the world.  Each of us brings our own lenses to viewing and participating in life.  What are you choosing?  If you don’t like what is happening in your life, choose again.  Make a new plan. The first step is the awareness of how you are guiding your life.  Keep your energy positive and focused on what you want and what’s right in your life.

Make a list of at least 10 ten things that are right with your life.  Appreciate them, acknowledge them, and give thanks for them.  You will see more of what’s right in your life.

Gratitude and Appreciation
As we learn to focus on what’s right in our life, we need to acknowledge that. Then acknowledge any work you are doing to make that shift in your life.  Sometimes beginning to be grateful takes a lot of being conscious of how you function in the world. We often go through our days doing things, being busy and not even noticing all that we have to be grateful. The quickest way to have more of what you want is to be grateful for what you have.  If you are stuck on what to be grateful for, start with the things that we often take for granted. If you can get out of bed in the morning, you were lucky to have a bed to sleep on for the night.  If you are able to brush your teeth with clean water, you are fortunate to live in a place that provides that.  If you have a job, you are lucky as many people today are out of work.  It’s breaking through about things we have taken for granted.  It’s a little shift in our perspective, and our lives can be full of gratitude. Gratitude for what we have draws more abundance to us. How many times a day do you give thanks? We have so many things in our life to be grateful for. Are you focusing on that which you are so very fortunate and on what’s right in your life?

To live in a state of gratitude, you have to learn to expand your awareness of the gifts you have been given. Find small ways and big ways you can focus on what’s right.  Then give thanks. Say thank you to each person you encounter for the day. Start and end your days with gratitude prayers. Make a list of 10 blessings you have in your life.  Each day acknowledge those 10, and say thank you three times for each one.

Gratitude is the quickest way to have more of what you want and live the life you desire. Focus on what you want.