The ego is the unobserved mind. The ego is your idea or opinion of yourself. It’s the part of you that you believe is you. You often hear about ego as the level of your self-esteem - do you feel unworthy or are you “big-headed”? Most probably, some place in between and also depending upon the situation. I have no ego about knowing how to fix a car. It’s not something I want to know about, not attached to or even care about. Therefore, my ego wouldn’t be influenced by anything around fixing a car.
Now, if you asked about how is my ego around being a parent, I’m quite attached to that role and responsibility. I have great pride in caring about how I parent, being there for my children and grandchildren. Thus, I could be caught in the matrix of who I am based on my parenting. If more of my ego is running the thoughts around parenting, than letting my heart guide me, then it could affect my being and my life.
My internal work is to let go of the attachment, the need to judge how I am doing as a parent. Yes, pay attention but let the work be from your heart, from that loving, compassionate place.
For most of us, the ego runs the show. It’s the mind telling you how you should be doing something. Reminding you what your parents, teachers or preachers told you how the world should work. It is often the small voice talking to you.
Your heart and gut remind you of what’s right for you. Your emotional guidance system reminds you if you are heading in the direction of what you desire or in the direction of temptations, shoulds or others’ opinions. You know because of the feedback you are receiving. If it feels good, keep going that way. If it is heavy, and you keep questioning whether this decision is right, then it’s probably not.
The more you choose your heart, you are choosing you. You are validating who you were created to be. You are being. You will be feeling better and more content.
The more you are choosing your heart, the freer you can be because you don’t have to justify or explain. It’s just what is true for you.
Which viewpoint is most prevalent for you - leading with the ego or your heart?
One way to know to which is leading your life is to follow the thought, like I did with parenting. See how attached you are. How you judge that subject as well as yourself around that. Then, think about how your heart guides you around that topic. Notice if you are free, you just know that is. Like I love my kids and grandkids to the ends of the earth. Not if they have to act a certain way or be a certain way. I’ve been there judging my parenting. But today, with all my spiritual growth, I love them unconditionally. That is with my heart and soul, not my head. Are there things I don’t like that they might do or say, sure, but my love for them is unbounded. My ego would want to judge but my heart is open and allowing them to be who they are.
Where can it serve you to let go of the intense rules of the ego and follow your heart?
The heart knows best.