How You Can Have an Incredible Day

If you are ready for a game-changer in your life, take time daily to show gratitude and appreciation. The Universe LOVES gratitude!!! How are you taking advantage of how this tool can amp up your life and desires?

  • November is the perfect month to begin adding tidbits of thanks to your life.
  • It’s easy to be grateful for a great Thanksgiving meal.
  • Add a little spice to it and share appreciation for all the people who made that possible for you.
  • Use a gratitude journal each day.

William Ward shares, “God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say “thank you?”

You can attract whatever you desire with gratitude and appreciation. The way to change your world is to find things in your life in which you are grateful. What you appreciate expands.

I remember years ago when I first learned about using gratitude I was going through my divorce. My mind was so hardened and I was bitter, I couldn’t even think of things to be grateful for in my life. So embarrassing. I had SO MUCH to be grateful for because I had wonderful children, a great job, friends, a beautiful house and a great supportive family, etc.

Where could you use this month of Thanksgiving to show more gratitude and appreciation and not be like me that couldn’t even see it before my eyes?

Who would be three (3) people you could show some appreciation and gratitude for? Take some time to write them a note or email and let them know how they make a difference for you. Then notice, what an incredible day you have made!

Share with me below ways your life has changed because of receiving or giving thanks.

Do You Favor Feeling Right or Being Right More?

I remember decades ago when I first heard Wayne Dyer say, “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” Whew, that was a big wake-up call for me.


Learning to listen to and honor what your body, mind and heart tell you is a journey.

From what I had learned from my observations to be heard and to be successful, I was to show how much I knew, I was to give my point of view and speak up if the conversation was different from what I believed or knew.

Oooh. Maybe not. What was Dr. Dyer saying? Why did it cause me to stop and ponder? I had never heard of “feeling right.”

I knew I didn’t like the discord I would feel after speaking out.

I knew I didn’t like how I felt after an argument when I was trying to prove myself.

I knew I didn’t listen to the feelings, so I moved on to “being right.”

For most people, you’ve been taught to follow the external cues, not the internal ones. Follow rules, your parents, authority, and churches with their doctrines such as The Bible and Ten Commandments.

You weren’t taught to question your feelings. I know many of my generation were taught to “not feel.” Toughen up.

So as these discrepancies appear in your life, they are there to open you up to new possibilities. To question what you think, and how you are living. Not to make you wrong, or bad, but for you to see there is more in the world than the limited perspective you see or live.

As John-Roger, DSS says, “Many people live the good life – with successful careers, great wealth, and all the security this world has to offer. What they would like more than all of that, however, is peace of mind: ”I wish my mind would leave me alone so I can feel good inside myself.”

Are you wishing for more peace of mind or peace?

Do you know it’s possible?

Which end of the spectrum do you fall more often – Feeling Right or Being Right?
I know as the world is feeling so much chaos and craziness, it’s time to question. Why is it upsetting you? For law and order people, the changes are creating havoc with what has been. For people who don’t want others or institutions telling them what to do or how to be, there is freedom, and exoneration.

Do you want to feel right or be right?

Can you be both? Certainly at times. Notice what is your focus – Making someone else wrong? Proving yourself?

I know at some point I realized I wanted peace above all else.

I didn’t like that monkey mind that was driving me crazy, thinking how not enough I was, how I wasn’t doing things right.

You know when you declare you want something, everything unlike what you desire, shows up for you to decide “Do you really want this?”

Piece by piece you decide if what you stated is true for you. That is when most people give up and go back to the known habit. Instead, choose commitment, and dedication to what’s right for you today.

For me, A Course in Miracles has saved me. The lessons, the messages, which I use as mantras when I am shifting my way of being. Like I choose peace instead of this. Yes, I really, really, really want peace above all else.

I want feeling right. I want to listen to my inner being. As Abraham-Hicks shares, listen to your emotional guidance system. Your inner being knows the Truth for you. It WILL guide you to what is right for you.

I have lost most of my need to be right. My bigger vision is to live in a world of love, kindness and peace. I try to align my thoughts, deeds and actions with what I believe. And, that doesn’t include needing to be right. It doesn’t matter in the big scheme of things.

I know I am in charge of how that happens – even when I don’t like what is going on. I’m asked to dig deeper.

Start observing whether you are more about being right or feeling right. Make little shifts to feeling better. Take the homelessness situation. Where do you stand on this issue – fine them, lock them up, or help provide places for them to stay.

Being Right or Feeling Right.

Take notice why you are taking the positions you are. Not right or wrong. More where you are – becoming conscious.

Notice what your beliefs are that are guiding your decisions.

I saw that Oklahoma has had a 23% increase in homelessness this year alone. For me, I go to what’s under all of it, why are things like this today, what’s my role with it, etc.

Life will give you many opportunities to test your beliefs if you notice and pay attention to how you are feeling.

Pay attention to the issues or situations where you take one side more than the other. Like being right. Are there other issues and situations you ride more on the other side? Like feeling right.

Notice where things don’t even matter, and you have a need to be right. For instance, it was raining and messed with my walking. The weather people said it was supposed to stop at a certain time. It didn’t. So I felt myself ruffling, making them wrong, rather than just noticing it is still raining and when it stops, I can go.

Crazy what we add to our lives that causes stress. How my mantra, “I can choose peace instead of this” works beautifully.

Begin today to value how you feel. To give your emotional guidance system more credence.

Decide to live more peacefully and freely so that you can live a more loving and kind life.

How can being aware of this idea of Favoring Feeling Right or Being Right More can help you live closer to the life you desire?

Who Are You Today After All These Decades of Living?

Who are you today?

You are not the same person you were a decade ago or as a teenager. Have you allowed yourself to change, to be more of who you came here to be?

Are you noticing and acknowledging all the ways you’ve changed? Are you focused on whom you are becoming?

One of the great messages of life is to Know Thyself.

Have you been willing to explore who you are?

Are you more accepting of all of you today than yesterday or years ago?

I can clearly see how I have evolved. For much of my life, I’m not sure I wondered who I was. I thought in a more limited version of myself, who I thought I was supposed to be. I tried hard to be that. Rather than be curious and wonder what is important to me, what MY core values are and what brings great joy and peace to me, I allowed my past to keep repeating itself. I spent too much of my life trying to please – others, what I thought others wanted from me, and who I thought I needed to be. I am more at peace with who I am today. I have miles to go in truly owning all of me, moving more into embodying me and releasing the outside influences that have a hold on me. I still have many attachments.

Where are you on the spectrum of the ego’s beliefs? Beliefs of

Lack? Attachments? Control?

Which ones of these ego beliefs drive your life today? Have you ever thought about how these are leading your decisions? Acknowledge where you have made growth.

Boldly stand up for yourself.

Think about yourself when interacting with others – your intimate relationships, your circle of friends and your colleagues or other groups you are involved with.

Who are you?

You are an extension of God, a Higher Power or the Universe. What does that mean to you?

As Ernest Holmes writes, “Until we awaken to the fact that we are One with the nature of God, we shall not find the way of life.”

Life is the journey to finding this Oneness, your connection to all that “isness.”

Do you have the courage to discover and struggle with this understanding?

Notice when you are willing.

Notice what keeps you hidden or resisting discovering more of who you really are..

Can you own all of who you are, especially your greatness? Can you see how all qualities are part of the whole and part of the oneness? The goal is to not identify with any. It is to know you are all. To notice the Oneness of it.

Can you allow yourself to be in the flux of the discovery of yourself?

To flow with the present?

To flow with new challenges and experiences in your life?

To flow with the uncertainty of new ideas that unsettle you?

Life is about discovering who you are.

I know today I listen more to my inner wisdom, rather than always being influenced by outside factors like keeping up with the Jones phase of life. I do more of noticing these triggers and see what I discover about myself. I know they have messages for me.

Are you ready to awaken to a larger version of who you are?

You are more. Life has challenged and rewarded you at every stage of your life. Maybe you haven’t acknowledged or paid attention to this evolution of yourself.

Let today wake you up to seeing the magic and miracles of how life works.

Living in an enlightened state allows you to see more of who your true nature is.

You are being called to live more fully.

Find more of the magic and miracles working in your life to help you be who you were created to be.

Who are you ready to become?

How Open Are You About Travel?

One of the things I love to do is travel.

Travel opens up your world, your perceptions and your heart.

There are numerous ways to travel.

I love the opportunities traveling provides. I know when we are on the road in our motorhome it is wonderful to connect with the different people all out to enjoy nature and the outdoors. I love the ease of flying to get there quickly.

These days virtual reality allows you to feel like you are having the live experience of travel.

I just returned from a girls’ trip in Greece. I read they were the 2nd friendliest place to visit.

Here we are in Athens. We had no idea how many people lived there. Can you see all the dwellings behind us? Whew. The history is rich and old. It makes you realize how young the USA is.

Fun to climb all the different Acropolis in the various cities we explored.

We went to Ephesus and learned a lot about the religious world there.

Friends in Greece 2024

Amazing all the people out to explore the ancient world’s history.

There’s much to explore in this big world if you are open and willing.

You can receive more than you thought you were going to. We were delayed leaving Athens which caused us to miss our connection in Chicago to return home. We had to stay over as did a huge plane full of people. But, what was so neat, was to see how 6% of separation is truly real. I noticed lots of the people who were in the lines waiting to be rebooked on other flights. Well, just by chance, or is it, that this family sat next to us as we waited the next day to return home. Come to find out, they have a lake house at the edge of one of the ladies I traveled with in NE Oklahoma. Can you imagine the conversations that took place as we were discovering that? Being across the world, and having someone live right at your doorstep. He even wanted to know about the fire hydrant in the middle part of her property.

Travel brings out the best in people and the worst. It brings out your best qualities and your worst – like when you miss flights or wait in loooong lines. Or can you allow yourself the opportunity to live greater? Like, meet your new neighbors?

What are your thoughts about travel?

How do you see travel as your life’s journey?

Greece Ephesus

You see all kinds of people when you are traveling. People where travel is easy, and where travel is labored for them. But they are out there, willing to get around. Something within them is not holding them back. They are tenacious, open and determined even though getting around might be difficult for them. I love it. Something greater is pulling them up and about.

My girlfriends were a little taken back when I was tentative, resistant might be a better word when they wanted to go into this port that we were rerouted to. I shared I wasn’t very open about exploring countries I don’t know my way around and where I can’t read the language. I was uncertain about how far out I was willing to go. I’m brave in many ways, but uneasy in others. Just like about life.

Traveling can teach you a lot about yourself.

How open are you about travel?

How can you use travel as a means to open you to a whole new world, and a whole new world of discovery about you?

Let travel open your eyes to all that is out there, right before you that you might not have ever noticed.

Are you ready to upgrade your experience of life through travel?

If yes, watch your world open to greater awareness and possibilities for your life.

What Decisions Are You Making Today That Support Your Dreams?

You make decisions all day long.

Are they in the direction of what you desire:

For Your Life?

For Your Health?

For Your Well-Being?

For Your Dreams?

As my health coach shared with me, ” I should choose “supportive” foods for the way I want to feel and that help with my healing.”

Think about that for yourself.

What are your decisions that are supportive of how you want to feel?

What are your decisions that are supportive to help with your healing?

I know at this age everything seems like how to be healthier, prevent disease and help with aging.

One of the things I believe is food is medicine. So if I believe that:

Are my decisions with my food focused on eating things that keep the inflammation away? Inflammation is among the greatest factors in heart disease, ageing, diabetes, etc.

Am I choosing foods that help with gut health? Digestion is a big deal as you age.

Do I make sure my meal choices include lots of protein to build my muscles since we lose so much muscle mass as we age?

What decisions are you making that are supporting your dreams? Appreciate and acknowledge all that you do. Decide to adjust or change other decisions that don’t support your dreams or the direction you want your life to go.

It’s a moment-to-moment decision. You are making hundreds and thousands of decisions all day long.

Allow yourself to choose again.

I would venture to say most momentary decisions are made without thinking about your dreams.

Most decisions are based on habits and beliefs rather than where you want to go. That’s why you stay the same or get stuck in situations you say you’d like differently.

I am on a Greek Isle Cruise with 3 girlfriends because I, we, made decisions a year ago to make this real and happen for us. We initially made many decisions, like where we wanted to go – visit the Greek Isles. Many choices we saw didn’t give us a way to really visit a number of the islands. Most options were to visit other places, too. We could have chosen those, but they weren’t what we wanted. That was an important decision for us at the beginning. Along the way, we had to decide what to do and how much everything would cost us. Ultimately, we decided to exchange our currency for euros and all the details we needed to ensure our trip would be relaxing and fun.

It was a dream come true because of the decisions we made to make it happen. We stayed clear and supported each other in the process. It is so fun to travel with girlfriends.

Think about something immediate that you’d like to happen. What are the decisions you know you need to make? Allow some you haven’t thought of to pop up for you, too. Play with it, but become aware of all the decisions you make to ensure they ARE in the direction of your desire.
Not all of life will be as conscious as thinking about your dreams. If you can begin paying attention to what you truly desire, your dreams, or your bucket list, you will begin noticing how you feel as you make certain decisions.

You will know what feels right and light for you.

You will see how easily you go off course.

You will see how you can decide again, and again, and again.

The more aware you are of your decisions, the more likely your life will be in the direction of your desires.

Be present.

Decide you are willing to notice how you are making decisions and how they are supporting your desires and dreams.

We are big fans of the University of Oklahoma girls’ softball team. They just won the Women’s National Championship for the 4th time, something nobody has done. Just think about that. Just think about ALL the decisions they had to make to get to that level, stay at the top, and keep pushing themselves. Whew. I heard one of the pitchers say, “I’ve had to teach myself to let go of the past pitch and stay focused on what I want this one to be.” That’s a lot of discipline and focus. That’s being present in what is right at this point and time. Look at what she received because of all her decisions to support her dreams.

Abraham-Hicks says, “A decision is the focusing of the Energy of desire, and the decision point happens when the desire is powerful enough.”

Are your dreams powerful enough?

Decide today to support your dreams.

What Are The Simple Acts Of Love You Are Doing Throughout Your Day?

The world needs more love, kindness and compassion.

What you choose to do has a huge impact on your life, the lives around you, and the collective.

It all begins with you. You are consciously choosing how you want your life to be and go.

It seems we all want more love. The way to receive more love is to give more of it away. Unconditionally.

What are some simple acts of love you share?

Is hugging someone, whether for joy or holding someone who is in distress?

Is that listening purely to hear what someone else is saying?

Is that volunteering for a cause that matters to you?

What are your ways to show love?

Feel how you feel as you share these simple acts.

Can you allow that peace, joy and contentment to fill your body and soul?

Think about how you could be generous today. Generous with

Acts of kindness

Acts of appreciation

Acts of affection

Lots of different ways to share love.

Life can be simple yet so rich and so fulfilling.

Collectively, we have made life seem so hard. We have allowed external factors to guide our lives more than our hearts. Like competition or comparing power over and money.

How can you return to a simpler focus of sharing love, goodness and compassion?

As John Roberts, DSS states, “We are here to learn one thing primarily: inner peace. Amidst all else, when you put your body on the line and get your actions lined up with your loving, you can experience this inner peace.”

What if you knew that everything before you was a mirror to help you return to love? Yes, including all the hurt and hardship.

Different things break you open. Open to more love. I know it does not seem like it at the time.

What is receiving your attention today? The good and the bad?

Can you understand and know how each of those things you listed as good and bad can help you open up more to love and peace? For instance, I have a hard time with a lot of chaos. I like more order because I feel more peaceful – sometimes more in charge. But the good from the craziness of chaos is that it is an opportunity for me to surrender, to allow what is rather than resist it and feel stressed and uptight. It allows me to see how that state of being is not how I like or want to feel. Chaos captures my attention and makes me feel grumpy. It’s a chance for me to be detached from external and work more of what I can control, which is me, and how I want to be and feel.

Life is asking you to awaken to a higher way of being.

Find ways today to allow yourself to be happy with who you are.

How you are loving yourself.

How you are trusting yourself.

How you are honoring yourself.

How you are valuing yourself.

Can you imagine how great you would feel if you gave yourself some simple acts of love every day?

Whew, my body already began relaxing my shoulders and breathing deeper just thinking about that and how it feels.

What if when you met up with another or read about someone you dislike, you could take a moment to say and think, “I only know your Divinity?”

Be curious about how that interaction would unfold when you are in that loving energy.

What are some small ways you are willing and open to share more love today, tomorrow and on, and on?

Let today’s message be a wake-up call to share simple acts of loving throughout your day.

Make sharing loving acts a priority. Watch how your life changes and how you begin to receive more and more love.

Magical. What you give, you receive.

Where Do You Struggle to Make Your Health A Priority?

Your thoughts create your reality. You are creating your tomorrow all day.

Your health is your mind, body and spirit.

Pay attention to your thoughts and beliefs about your life, your health, and the world around you.

All these affect you based on how you respond and interact with them.

If you want to know your thoughts, stop and look at your life.

I know it’s hard to think or see that you created what you are living. But, if you step back and not make yourself wrong, see what’s working and what’s not. Be open to what else is possible for you. You can begin a journey to a healthier life – inside and out.

I can see where I’ve been stuck and rigid. My body has shown me that by the tension and tightness in my muscles. As I have learned to loosen my grip on life, I can see and feel how I relax more. I can see how my thoughts have changed about viewing me and life situations I didn’t like. I can see how I can be in the flow, allow more of what is happening, and not ramp up the unfairness or rage inside of me. I spend more time noticing and seeing what bothers me and how I’d like it to be. Then, go toward a more peaceful and loving place. More from my excitement about how I want things to be.

I’ve learned you receive what you focus on. It’s much more comfortable for me when my body is fluid and flowing than tight and hurting. Think of how your organs and glands clamp up! Tension, stress—not healthy.

Is your health like you want it to be?

Your health can direct what you can do and what needs your attention. Take a moment to listen to what your body is saying to you right now.

Is it to rest?
Is it to get moving?
Is it to love it more?

What is your body saying to you?

One of the great learnings I’ve had is through my body. Oh, I’ve had many. But, after my Pickleball injury and tearing my hamstring off the bone, I did lots of reflection and rehab. Not just to my body but to my mind and way of thinking. One of the things I learned about was how much Pilates could help me build up my small muscles around the larger ones to protect them. Most of my previous exercise was to build up my large muscles, get strong, and push through everything. Pilates has taught me to listen to my body and form in ways I have never done. I realized how much I’ve used strength more than allowing my body to work for me.

Your body is masterful in how each part can help support you if you focus on it and allow it to help you.

How are you making sure your health is vibrant and dynamic? It can be up to you rather than like me thinking I knew what to do. Rather than being open to what’s next and best for me.

Your body tells you how you can be vibrant and dynamic, no matter your conditions. Based on right where you are, what is the best thing you can do for yourself now?

I remember when Bo was recuperating from his cancer and how ecstatic we were when he could move from bench to bench on this walking path we had. One bench was a HUGE milestone. It gave him hope, joy and belief in something more the next time. Twenty years later, you would never realize how close he was to the other side.

The best thing is not to fall into the trap of thinking something greater is not possible for you unless that is what you want, like being a victim of circumstances.

You are the decision maker, and it’s not always an easy one. What helps is knowing what you want, really want. Keep that your focus.

How are you making sure your health is a top priority?

Find people who have overcome something you are facing. There are plenty of examples examples of miracles, too, that can lift you up. We just had dinner with some friends of ours. There is a couple we both know that has recently faced some unbelievable health problems, each in the hospital facing difficult circumstances, he, his wife and their adult son. Like her having breast cancer and facing horrible reactions to the chemo. Most people would feel sorry for what they are facing, but this courageous man is so humble and acts like it’s calling them to live something greater. Unbelievable spirit and strength. She is an example of living strong in her faith. Wonderful, real-life examples can make you feel like you can see things differently if they can handle ALL of what is happening in their lives.

Think about your health as filled with love. See your body as a miracle-making machine.

Think about your health as well-being. How are you making your well-being a priority? Not all your aches and pains.

As Vernon Howard shares, “Any change which contributes to your true good must start with a change in the way you think.”

Change your focus. Focus on what you WANT.

Focus on being healthier.

Be curious and wonder what else is possible.

How is your health precious to you? Keep that as your benchmark. It will change the energy with which you handle things.

What healthy choices can you make today that could lead you to a more vibrant you?

Where are you struggling today with making your health a priority? Are you too focused on the pain and struggle you are facing? How could you shift that thinking to more about listening to what your body is asking you to do?

Ask God or your Higher Power to help you – help you see things differently.

Nobody wants more pain, but paying attention to the ailments, the hurts and limitations is so easy. Remember, you receive MORE of what you FOCUS on. More pain when that is what you keep talking about and thinking about. Yes, it hurts. Acknowledge that, but ask what can you do to see something greater emerging.

Surround yourself with pictures of what you’d like, people who have overcome or uplifting messages to help you move from your struggles so you can prioritise your health.

Commit today that you are worth making your well-being your top priority. Your life depends upon it.

Move from struggle to curiosity of what else might be possible.

You will see something more.

Here’s to a healthier you.

How Are You Impacting Others?

One of the givens in life is that each of us wants to know our lives mattered.
What’s beautiful about that is that making your life matter happens in a variety of ways unique to each of your gifts and what matters to you.
Go through your day and think about ways you are making a difference.  I try to smile and say hello to people I pass when walking.  I read once that someone said,” It was the person that said hello to me that I decided I wasn’t going to commit suicide, that someone noticed her.”  
What matters to you?  My license plate is “THKS” because I have learned a very valuable lesson of being grateful – for everything (sometimes not so easy).  But I’m conscious of trying to express it and show how blessed I feel.  
You will never know the impact you have on people. Give unconditionally.  
I don’t know who might see my license plate. It might impact someone:
to be a little more gracious and kind. 
to take time to acknowledge all that they have been given.  
to be a conversation starter.
Think about people who have impacted your life.  Have you told them?
Do you know people who do the kindest things? One friend sends birthday cards to everyone she’s known for the last few decades. How kind is that!
You know, people who go out of their way to help others, to watch out for their neighbors.  
They are making a huge difference.  
I was blessed to have a career in education, where we impacted lives every day. I felt that education is the ticket to whatever you want to do in life.  
I love education because it’s about being curious.  Learning opens doors and worlds.  
Teaching is a passion of mine. I want to awaken people to see all their life possibilities. Any way I can share and help others have a better path, I’m in for it.
Where are you impacting others?  Ponder ways with your family, extended family, friends, community, and global community.  
Sometimes you think it must be in big ways like the Gates Foundation, but in reality, every tiny gesture given with love matters to others.  People will pick up on the way you make them feel.
Today, loneliness is at epidemic levels. The world is hurting and feeling isolated. After COVID, I really understood that. I know single adults my age who don’t have family around and spend nearly every day by themselves. I know some of that can be good, but too much creates this space of loneliness.  
Who do you know that could benefit from you checking in with them?  Someone in your family, an old friend, a neighbor?  Decide to do your part to help alleviate this crisis.  
Or, what is your interest in helping others?
Life is hard enough with all the responsibilities and maneuvering through life.  Take time to reach out to someone who might need to hear from you.  You will receive much.
There are endless ways to bring your light to impact the lives around you.
What matters to you?  Share that.  
Make someone’s day.  What you give, you receive.

How Close Are You To Real Happiness and Peace?

A goal in life is to “be happy.”

The words seem to make it sound easy.

But real living can look so different with all the pulls on you in different ways—your career, your family, your faith, your self-care, and then trying to be happy and peaceful.

Growth happens when things are hard and you figure out how to manage and live it out.

If you want to have things change in your life, you must choose different thoughts and patterns.

Like, move out of your comfort zone and choose more towards happiness and peace.

My challenge is to imagine how you can be happy in all parts of your life.

That’s the big vision. Maybe way out of your thinking of any possibility. Or, maybe you have been journeying to live a more peaceful life. Wherever you are, start. Start by adding one thing that brings you happiness – like playing the piano daily, reading a book, or taking a bubble bath. Then, acknowledge how peaceful and happy you were. (You receive more of what you focus on – gratitude and appreciation are magical tools). Or choose your health or relationships and do 1 thing that brings you pure joy. And acknowledge how you felt when you did that.

Do things more often that bring out feelings of joy and peace.

Remember, you receive what you focus on.

I know when you make a decision that happiness is your biggest desire, and you remind yourself over and over, then your life can change.

You will ask yourself along the way, does this choice bring me happiness? Or am I feeling frantic and overwhelmed? Guess what you could choose?

Become more aware of your choices and where they are leading you.

What you FEEL is so important as you are moving towards an intention or goal you desire. Keep checking in with yourself – “How am I feeling NOW? and NOW?”

Feel the nirvana in happiness and being at peace.

When you decide to choose a different path or option from what you have been doing, it requires focus, great focus, and commitment. It doesn’t happen naturally. It can be quite awkward, or it’s not even in your thinking at the time. You forget, and life goes back to autopilot.

The good part about pain or challenges in life is they capture your attention.

So when life gives you more than you can handle or think you can handle, surrender to something greater than you. This is the time when you are more open to hearing something different.

Be willing to go after the REAL goal – happiness and peace. Because all the “things and stuff” you are going after are only a disguise. You believe they will make you feel good. Decide to listen to what your real desires are. You can have the stuff, but know what you really want is the feeling – like happiness and peace.

As Mike Dooley shares, “Do you know what most people wish for, Dottie, when it comes to improving their own life? More stuff.Because they think having more stuff will contribute to their overall happiness. But do you know what most people wish for when it comes to the lives of the ones they most love and cherish?

Happiness, peace, creative work, fulfilling relationships.

Because they understand that once these things are in order, more stuff will automatically take care of itself. One of these two things doesn’t belong with the other….”

How can you shift your focus so you can begin your journey to more happiness and peace in your life?

As John Morton, DSS, shares, “Your life is full of new opportunities to create all that fulfills you. All experiences contribute to your learning and growth more than others, so you always have plenty of reason to be grateful for all you have been given.”

How close are you to real happiness and peace in your life? On a number scale 1-10, 10 being right there, full of joy and contentment, where are you? Write down that number. Then begin your awakening to consciously add more ways that bring you these feelings daily in small ways. Ask this question again in two months and see how far you have grown. Your world is probably feeling lighter, too.

Your well-being is calling you to this road of happiness and peace.

Life doesn’t need to feel chaotic and out of control.

How Do You Define The Decade of Life You Are Living?

Each decade of life tends to have a purpose or focus.

As you think about your past, consider each decade of your life. What pops into your head about each? For me, the ones that pop in my head are moving, school, college, marriage, career, family, kids leaving home, and retirement.

You may not have anticipated these phases at the time, but life generally flows in these patterns.

Your life is defined by what was important to you as you went through life.

Was there lots of happiness? More sadness? Struggles?

What were the highlights – of each decade?

I know that at this age, mid-70s, it is easy to reflect on and think about your past since most of it is behind you.

I know that at this stage in life, many think about how long they want to live. But recently, I was listening to a podcast, and the host was arguing for a change in focus. Instead of thinking about extending longevity, what if we could focus on living healthily? He was saying that just extending life is costing society too much—not just financially but mentally and emotionally, too. The shift should be to how we can help others be healthier.

My husband, Bo, was given a book by Bobb Biehl, Decade By Decade: Life Is Surprisingly Predictable.

It’s interesting because in my coaching, I have often asked clients to review their past by decades. Think about where the blessings and heartaches were. Think about your gifts and talents that weave through all. What parts of your past are haunting you, and do you need forgiveness?

As we read this book, it’s a nice summary of how life is predictable. He uses “S” words to help you focus, like 30s—Success. 40s Significance/Struggle. Boy, I’ve always said this stage is the hardest. You are trying to juggle so many things—family, career, self—maybe even being a caretaker of your parents. I wished I had known more about grace and kindness then.

And, for me, the 70s were the Succession. Reading this section was interesting because I didn’t think as he discussed it. “Who will carry on what I’ve been doing?”
I have talked about the legacy you want to leave. He talks about being a mentor. I love that idea. Young people need great role models. Bo and I’ve talked about the “lessons” we hope the kids and grandkids learn from us. Bo even talked about wanting to write them down.

What is your focus and intention for the decade you are in?

Life matters.

The more you live on purpose the more meaningful your life can be for you. You don’t always think about just surviving.

As I say, I want you to thrive.

As I think about life, I think retirement should be later. I think more people would live healthier if they were still living on purpose or for something. I wonder how we can figure out how to live, relax and enjoy life more along the way rather than thinking, “I can’t wait to retire to…travel, do what I want, etc.” Why not do that along the way? Just think about how much healthier and more balanced your life might be. Too many people I know are not happy about these retirement years. They are just passing days and complaining about their health. Health is a huge issue. Money can be a concern. Aging isn’t for sissies. It’s challenging.

Maybe that’s why I phased my work “Thriving in unRetirement.” Of course, I didn’t know then what I know now. But I feel more strongly about how important it is to have a purpose. Keep that bigger than whatever is happening to or for you. You still need that WHY to help you through all that is happening.

Think about what you would say this decade is for you, but also, think about what you’d LIKE it to be for you. Open to greater possibilities – even though it might now look possible.

Keep the hope and wish alive.

Life is predictable, and let it go toward your desires.

Do You Believe There Are No Mistakes In Your Life?

As you reflect upon your life, can you look at it and see there were no mistakes?

Do you see that everything that happened to and for you was to help you evolve into the greatest you, the one you were created to be?

I know it is hard to think that some of the unbelievable things happening aren’t mistakes.

It’s hard to imagine how the tragedies can be for you.

But, what I know is life is for you.

Life is trying to open you and me up to the Highest and Greatest.

I know there has been lots of resistance for me. I thought I was in charge, and when things weren’t going the way I desired, I pushed harder and held on tight to what I wanted, thinking I knew best.

But I learned along the way that there is a Higher Power with the best plan for me. My part was to open to what was before me and allow it all—the good and the bad, as I proclaimed.

And, of course, your choices would be based on you and what your journey and desires are. Abraham-Hicks says it so wisely, “See this world as a free world, and see everyone in it as trying—through their individual experiences—to find their way back to that calling, back to that Source Energy. And even though billions of them go about it in a way that is different than you would choose, there’s no right or wrong way. In other words, bless them all, and get on with the only thing you have any power about opening or closing your vortex to your natural state of Well-Being.”

The truth is that some of the most challenging and most painful experiences have been life-changing. Like

Birthing my two children Going through a divorce Having a petition to remove me from my principalship

As my teacher, Debbie Ford, taught, “There is gold in the darkness.”

You can’t see the light until you clear away the darkness, just as you can’t see the sun when the clouds hide it.

Every painful experience I’ve had has brought greater awareness and light to my life.

They weren’t mistakes. They weren’t easy.

It was a process of awakening more and more after lots of pain and heartache.

I was willing and allowed that something greater was there for me—even though, at the time, I couldn’t see it.

I became lighter and freer. I healed parts of myself. I became more trusting in a Power greater than me.

As a mentor of mine, Dr. Kim D”Eramo states, “Forgiveness is to see there was no wrongness in this situation.”

Where in your life do you need to erase the idea that there are mistakes?

How could you see these situations from another perspective? (Byron Katie’s The Work can help you with a turnaround.)

Lorie Ladd states, “There has never been anything wrong with you. You’re simply remembering you.”

These situations you may have labeled as mistakes are there to wake you up, get your attention, and help you move to a greater place.

Like being more loving, peaceful, joyful, and free. That’s what we all really want.

For example, the process of birthing a child. Pregnancy is hard, things are changing, your mind and body are going through many processes. How does this little being come to be? I’m not in charge, yet I am to care for myself and my little one in the best ways possible. The whole process taught me something greater than being in charge. Something miraculous is happening.

Where are you on believing there are no mistakes in life?

Notice your resistance to that statement, and go there. Clear that path. Look at what you are considering mistakes.

It’s not your decision to decide for me or others. We were all created in God’s image and likeness.

Remember, life is about contrast. The differences help you decide what is right and wrong for you.

Notice where you say, “I can’t forgive that person.” Go there to find your calling for what’s next for you. Give yourself grace, time and compassion.

Keep listening and seeing what’s there for you to evolve.

You wouldn’t be able to know more kindness if you didn’t see the hatred and atrocities. Can you thank those other people for being that mirror to help you see that you need to awaken to more kindness and compassion if that situation is before you? Look at all the people who show up for others in natural disasters – like the recent tornado in Sulphur, Oklahoma, that destroyed downtown. It’s horrible. But look at the hundreds of ways people open up and come to the rescue to support and help others. That’s beautiful, heart-warming and amazing.

Be willing to honor your life by feeling that all that has happened in it was for you—even though it might not have felt like it.