By Using The 90% Rule, How Can You Create The Life You Love?


I know life can be challenging at times. I know it has its ups and downs. I know crazy things happen that are out of your control.


But, I also know you and I have the ability to live way bigger than I ever knew possible by intending what you want.


Not by being a bystander.


I thought life happened to you and you worked hard to get whatever you wanted.


What I know now is that it is one way to create your life. But, there is something bigger, easier and way more fun.


I want that for you.


How much of your day or life are you spending on what you love?


When I first began this journey of personal transformation and empowerment, I would have answered most of it. I loved that I was in education. I had a great family and good friends. Lived in a wonderful place. But the truth was, I was frustrated, stressed or overwhelmed most of the time. I was doing what I loved but wasn’t in the state of loving what I did because I never could feel fulfilled.


I had a great life but there was too much inner turmoil and chatter to find the peace and appreciation I now know.


My measure of success was how I looked. What I was achieving. I wanted to be the best. Nothing wrong with that except what was driving it. Like for me now, I want to be the Highest version of myself. But the difference is the reason. Before, I was looking outside. My validation and success were coming from external measures which sends you on an endless journey of “never being enough.” Now, my focus is on how I can be the most loving, joyful person serving God, all from inside and my connection to something Higher than me.


The realization to have the life you love is most often only a shift in perspective. As The Course of Miracles says, a miracle. Like for me, really taking the time to find what I really wanted, what mattered to me. Then I had to fill my life with that. Live from the inside out. Mostly…


Now, the truth was it took me years and years to get there.


I want to save you time, pain and frustration.


I love helping people create a life they love. As well as help them realize they have the power within them to make it happen.


I had no idea you create your own reality. Or what that meant.


Often, people haven’t even thought they were in control of how their life goes. Most likely going through the motions of day-to-day living.


Just trying to survive, instead of THRIVE.


I was reading my newsletter this week from Kelly Notaras who owns KN Literary. She was talking about a new rule she was following for her life “9-out-of-10″ rule.” She chooses activities and commitments only if they score a 9 or above on a scale of satisfaction/enjoyment/ and how good it feels. She said she says, “Yes” to those things that bring her alive and “No” to everything else.


Can you feel the lightness in that? How much pressure would be relieved from your life? Think of how good life would be, doing what you love.


And think, once the heaviness is lifted, the joy and fun emerge.


Kelly says, “I still do my job. I still make difficult phone calls when necessary. I still pick up my godsons from school and let them destroy my beloved car with their muddy boots. (Deep breaths, deep breaths.) I still cook and make my bed and do all the things. But I have been graced with the ability to see my life as a creation in which I get at least some say.  I have to say in the story I choose to tell about a given circumstance. I have to say in the undoing of old patterns of thought and behavior that are no longer serving me. And I have to say what I “have to” and/or “should” be doing with each moment of my life. In other words, I have the privilege of a lot of choices.” 


So for Kelly, the big shift was to feel like she had a choice to choose.


Her relief came when she, “Recognized how often we unconsciously assume we don’t have a say. We say yes without thinking because we think we “should” or “have to.’”


What would be your big shift? What’s a new perspective on how life could be more free, fun and alive for you?


What would it take for you to live 90% of the time doing what you love? Is it letting go of “how you look”?   Or letting go of the need to be in a certain social circle that creates lots of guilt and obligation rather than joy and fulfilment?


Decide your peace and joy matter. Decide it is possible to live a joyful life.


Set an intention that you can create a “9 out of 10” lifestyle.


Notice where you get pulled out of alignment with the life you love. Start making changes there.


Then, make a plan of how you are going to begin making it happen.

Is it reflecting where you give away your peace? Then begin by saying “no” to those situations?

Is it making a list of what you most want – quiet time, alone time, peace, joy or fun?


Next, write down where your present life is on that scale. Is it 4 or 6?


Choose 1 step you can do this week. Choose the one that can make the biggest impact for you. Or, if you’d rather a small win first, go for an easy step, like writing down what a life you love looks like. Then make the plan to get there.


Begin today noticing each activity or situation you have planned, is it a 9 out of 10? If not, do you need to say “no” to it?


What shift needs to happen to get your life closer to a 90%?


Life was meant to be fun!


Here’s to wishing you a 9/10 week, my friend.