Every Relationship is a Holy Encounter


Life has a funny way of getting your attention. The Universe puts people in your life that annoy, frustrate and even love you.


People are mirrors for you. How do you know which ones are trying to reveal a message for you?


Since there are billions of people on the planet, you won’t be involved with all those billions of people.


There are people who may attack you, blame you and maybe even abuse you.

Their world is angry, frustrated or blah with lower energies of life.


And, then there are others who want to live their best life. For instance, a loving person lives in a loving world. They find the good in everyone. They let you know what an amazing person you are.


Depending upon what you need for the next greatest version of yourself, these people enter your life. It could be a partner, colleague or child. Or even an in-law.


They are mirroring something in you that needs to be healed. Whether that is something you haven’t owned about yourself like how beautiful you are or things you have denied or made wrong like you are mean.  


Relationships provide you with opportunities to understand who you are, what you fear and what you have made wrong or not acceptable.


The coaching work that I do is about helping you heal and move closer to the life you were destined to live. – if you allow life to guide you there.


A big step in this healing process is to love and own all parts of who you are. Like the bossy and the dishonest. I know you are probably saying, “I’m not that.” But in reality, you have every quality. Many aren’t problems for you.


So every relationship you encounter provides you the opportunity to see what you are denying about yourself.

Even how you can shine your light brighter.


As you notice other people who push your buttons, really are just mirroring something you need to heal within yourself.


For instance, if you are having trouble with the lifestyle someone else has chosen, ask yourself why is that bothering you. Write out all those things – they are lazy, not disciplined, not a hard worker… just let it flow. So then look at those qualities.


What have you made those words mean?


In my coaching no quality is bad or good, it’s the meaning you give them that makes it that way for you.


So to follow through on this process so you can understand how that relationship is trying to help you heal and is a holy encounter:


            Choose one of your words about lifestyle. Let’s start with lazy. Figure out why you have made lazy mean something wrong or bad. Ask yourself –  what have you made lazy mean. For example, lazy people don’t work hard, they sit around, they don’t do their job, they socialize more than work, etc.


            Then ask yourself, where in your life could that be helpful. Like for me, I was TYPE A – obsessive and driven, always pushing forward at lightning speed. Well, lazy people sit back and are more relaxed, they socialize, they get to things whenever. All of those qualities in a lazy lifestyle could be very beneficial to my life. Lazy could teach me to relax, be more involved with others, or realize things can still get done at a different speed.


So “that lifestyle” is annoying me because life is telling me something. For me, it was I need to slow down, stop and smell the roses.


Life is trying to get my attention before I have a heart attack or before I run off lots of people. Whatever the lesson you need to learn.


So how do you heal it once you notice how that person is disrupting your life or owning your peace of mind?


           Integrate that quality, LAZY, into your life. What does integrate that into my life mean? Lazy becomes part of your life. Like, relax more, find ways to slow down, have quiet time, or spend 5 minutes socializing when you get to work. Whatever part of lazy is calling to be a part of your life.


And, the funny part about how life works, “that lifestyle” you once made wrong, will no longer bother you or be on your radar if you integrate it into your life.


And, your life is better for it.


It has been a gift to you.


Thus, that relationship was a Holy Encounter to you. It allowed you to heal some part of you that was out of balance and you couldn’t see. Too much Type A is not healthy.  


Now, if you don’t stop and look at what relationships are trying to get your attention, you WILL continue to be surrounded by relationships showing you more of what you don’t like.


Notice who is upsetting you right now. They are your holy encounters.


Did you ever wonder why sometimes you are frustrated by the people around you?


It’s for your highest and greatest good. To help you become all you were created to be.


I know it doesn’t feel like it, but it really works.


It’s amazing how life works perfectly for you when you are open to the lessons and how they work for your highest and greatest good.


Just like in this example I’ve shared, the Universe was showing me, it’s time to relax and get some balance in your life.


Do you see how no quality is bad or good? It’s the meaning you give it or what your life needs to help you be the most loving, joyful person you can.


Think about who is in your life right now that pushes your button, you aren’t approving of or don’t like. Take time to process:


  1. What are the qualities you don’t like? List them out.
  2. Define what you have made those qualities mean, like lazy in the above example.
  3. Look at how any of those definitions could be helpful to your life. Like lazy above – slow down, stop and smell the roses. (Sometimes you are too attached to the meaning of the quality and can’t see the positive aspects of it. Someone else can help show you how it can be helpful).
  4. Then choose one or some of the parts of the word that could be good for your life. Next, decide how you are going to integrate those ideas into your life. Like for lazy, I could choose to have quiet time each hour or choose to socialize at the beginning of each day.


Thus, how every relationship is a holy encounter bearing a gift for you. See how lazy could make me a healthier person and easier to be around.


How do you know that you need to heal some things? Just notice who is running your life, who you are giving away your power to and who is pushing your buttons.


And, before you know it, you will own your own joy and happiness for life. You realize it’s not about someone else, it’s about you becoming all you are meant to be.


And, guess what – then the next Holy Encounter appears before you.


Life continuously evolves. And before you know it, when someone upsets you,

you know it’s time to do this process to heal some part of you that’s not working for your greater good.


And, you embrace it because you know it allows you to be freer to be all you were meant to be.


Share with me one quality that you cannot be with or stand in other people. Did you work the process? What did you discover and see how it could help you?


I can help you find the gift in it for you or how to work it.

Set up a free discovery call at dottiehager.com to find that gift for your life.

I love, love this work of helping you become all you are meant to be.