Oh, How It Feels Good To Be In Charge of Your Life


Maneuvering through life is not for the faint of heart.


I recently heard someone talking about doing a TEDx Talk. They said you should choose a topic based on the one message you want the world to know that could make a difference in their life.


Well, I feel that way about becoming conscious of how you are doing life. Why? The more you pay attention and take charge, you feel empowered, free and in charge. You can literally create the life you want.


It feels fabulous to know you are in charge of your life.


One of the components of being conscious is to understand what’s driving your life.


Your mind is like a TV guide or Sirius radio with infinite channels to choose; your body is like the TV screen or radio station tuned into the channel you have chosen. The possibilities are expansive.


You can be and do anything you want.


You see the world from your own perspective based on your experiences and beliefs. Some helpful, many not.


Most people are driven by external cues such as comparing yourself and listening to the media and all its advertising.


Unless you become aware of how life works, you will continue to be a victim of circumstances, you stay frustrated and unfulfilled. You will feel you never measure up because there will always more of what you are desiring.


I’ve realized over and over again how important it is to know what’s underneath why you do what you do.


Become curious.


Your life will show you what is driving your life based on your behaviors.


Is it love, God, kindness, resentment, or achievement like I was?


Life doesn’t have to be overwhelming. When you become conscious of what drives your decisions, perspective, and life, you live the life you design. Feels great! Sustains you in the challenges.


Something happened early in life that defined this force for you. Like for me, as a child who made an occasional “B” in school, my father said, “Why aren’t you like Sharon and make straight “A’s”? I made that mean if I wanted my dad’s approval, I had to achieve more. So my whole life was about achieving to get his attention. Until I did this work, I didn’t understand my frustrations and judgments. Yes, I was lucky to achieve great things.


None of these ideas are bad upon themselves but when they control you rather than you control them, your life is stressful.


Free yourself from the chains that are creating stress and unhappiness.

Become aware.


Problems arise when situations happen that go against your driving force. You feel the tension. Most of the understanding of this tension is unconscious. For instance, as a parent, teacher, and principal, I couldn’t understand why everyone wasn’t as interested in the importance of achieving like I was. So whenever that didn’t happen, my stress and frustration would be high.


What’s driving your life?


Is it the need to do risky things? For instance, my husband loves to get on his bike and really push it. He’s in the oil and gas business. He likes playing craps. All activities over on the risky side. So it’s important that he has some “risky” things in his life to feel fulfilled and excited about life. What about you?


As you stop and reflect on what is driving your life, be kind to yourself so you are able to weed out the root cause. Why does achieving consume me? Why do you like risky events? Find out what it is for you? Is it “illness”? Dig and see what you are receiving from “illness.” When did it begin? Do you receive attention? Do people take time for you when you are sick? How could you let go of “illness” and ask for what you need? Realize you are receiving something from whatever is driving your life. Wanting attention is a basic need, so that’s not wrong but needing to be “ill” keeps you down. How could you shift this to receive the attention you want and have a more loving and joyful life?


Once you find the qualities that are driving your life, you can heal them. Then they will no longer be in charge of you. You will reduce the suffering in your life.


It’s worth the discovery.


You move from expecting others to save you or do as you want them to and realize you have all you need inside of yourself to fulfill your deepest longings.


Enjoy more harmony and being at peace with life. You find new, healthy ways of having your needs met.


No longer is something else driving your life, you are.


You feel empowered and in charge of your life. How freeing is that!