Day 12: Lesson

“There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they’re necessary to reach the places we’ve chosen to go.” – Richard Bach

Day 12 discussed your Shadows and what you are hiding. What would it take to love and accept everything about yourself?  What would make that possible for you?  Are you trying to be a better person?   Have you been going through life as your biggest cheerleader or against yourself? What messages are you sending out about yourself?

Our shadow, dark side or repressed part, contains all the parts of yourself that you resist, dislike or try to hide.  You will often deny these parts of yourself.  Your shadows are those parts of you that you have deemed unacceptable. You probably have made it mean that there was something wrong with you if you had these qualities.  You might have been hurt and learned to hide parts of you so that you wouldn’t get hurt again.  You probably spend a lot of energy denying them, hiding them, covering them up and trying to get rid of these qualities you have labeled as “bad.” The more you try to repress your dark side, the more you attract it and the harder it will be to keep your facade.

Acknowledge the good, bad and ugly. The shadow work will be taking you on a journey from your head to your heart.  You will learn how to see the gift in these shadows.  They can become harmful when we allow them to stay repressed.

This work is about healing those parts of you that you have made unacceptable or bad, those parts of you that you might be hiding. The task is to own these shadow qualities and integrate them in your life.  You will find the gift in them and see they no longer have power over you.

In truth, no word is bad or good. You have made certain qualities mean certain things based on the circumstances in your life. You have experiences and make decisions about what you find acceptable and not.

You can discover what your shadows are by paying attention to your world. The world is a reflection and a mirror for you.  Who is showing up in your life?  Notice your reactions and where you are annoyed or in angst with others. If you are bugged by someone, notice what it is you don’t like.  They are mirroring qualities in you.  It is a place calling out to you that need some attention and healing.  Keep track of that. Then go through the process to find the gift in that quality that pushed your button.  You want to unplug the feelings that you have been denying or hiding.  You want to find the acceptance and understanding of the qualities you see as unacceptable.

Shadow work can free you to be the person you were created to be.

Actions Steps:

1. Think of 3 people you admire.  Write down 3 qualities about each of them that represents why you admire them.  These are qualities in you that want to come out. They are ready to be developed and expressed. What action can you take each day to express these qualities? Pay attention as you begin to express the qualities you admire in others.
2. Think of 3 people you dislike.  Write down 3 qualities about each of them that represent the qualities you don’t like about them.  These are your shadows.
3.  Take time with each quality for the ones you admire and dislike.  First identify the word; next what meaning did I give this word?  When did this first show up for you?  List some positive qualities about the word, like I did with lazy.  Write down how those qualities could be helpful in your life.  That would be the gift they are in your life, like how lazy helped me slow down and smell the roses.  Then write about how the shadow has served your life, like I did with achievement.
4. Take time to think of other qualities that you have made wrong, bad.  Take them one at a time and integrate them into your life.

Journal Time:

• What inspired you most from the call?
• What are two ideas you are taking from the call?
• Where are you finding resistance?
• What is one action step you will take within 24 hours of the call?
• What support do you need to help you keep moving forward?