21-Day Journey: Day 7 – Lesson

page-header-membersDay 7 Lesson:

“How I feel about myself is more important than how I look.  Feeling confident, being comfortable in your skin-that’s what really makes you beautiful. – Bobbie Brown

obstacle1Day 7 teaches obstacles can force you to awaken to new possibilities. You’ve heard the saying if you don’t get it the first time, it will come to you stronger the next time and finally the third time it is usually so loud it gets your attention. You can use these challenges as opportunities to grow and show you the deeper meaning of life or you can fight against them blaming others for why life is not fair or is rotten.

Obstacles can help you rethink your plan.  You might even wonder what is wrong with you or what’s wrong with your circumstances when you face an obstacle.

One of the biggest obstacles we often face is learning to love and accept yourself and others.  On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the highest, where would you say you are on loving and accepting yourself? Others? One of the ways you can begin unraveling how you accept yourself is by how you judge others.

What was a belief you learned about how you get love?  Did your model of love show you that you had to act and behave a certain way to receive your parents’ love?  How conditional was it or did you make it? Are you using that same model today with your love relationships?  Adult love doesn’t respond that way when you are acting like an adult.

How can you show up as an adult rather than the child in your relationships? Look at how you respond to situations. Write out how you respond and how old you were when you learned that behavior that you are still using today.

Where are the fears that bind you?  What are they?  Rejection, not good enough, abandonment, needs approval, perfectionism, unworthy.  Everybody doesn’t have to like you.

Another big obstacle in life is in our communication.  You think you have said something and I didn’t hear it that way, or I interpreted it to mean something else.  I learned that we create our own meaning of a situation.  It’s never about the event that causes suffering but what you make it mean.  These meanings are often created in our childhood.  When you asked for something and didn’t get it, you might have made it mean you must have been bad.  So now, whenever you don’t get what you ask for, you immediately go to you must be bad.  Where is that playing out in your life?

Actions Steps

  1. Think of a situation where there is disagreement.  When you don’t get your way, what have you made that mean about you?  Think about how you could make a positive thought about you not getting your way.  Practice catching yourself every time you are in a hurtful situation.  Notice how you are giving it meaning rather than noticing the situation.  What are 5 examples of how you have given something meaning that for someone else it would be different?
  2. For the next 30 days, each day find thirty seconds where you stand in front of a mirror and look into your eyes.  Tell yourself “I love you.”  Notice at what point it becomes easier for you.

Journal Time:

  • What inspired you most from the call?
  • What are two ideas that you can take away from the call?
  • What is one action step you will take within 24 hours of the call?
  • What support will you need to help you go forward?