What Door Closed On You in 2018?


As this year is nearly ending, what new have you learned? What has been the meaning of 2018 for you?


For me, it has been about surrendering. I can’t always get what I want when I want it. I’m struggling with it but intellectually, I’m understanding it more.


At times surrendering feels like giving up. I know the messages of “In God’s perfect timing”, “Let God’s will be done.” But, not easy for someone who has made things happen and likes controlling things.


I was recently listening to one of my podcasts, where Brooks Castillo was talking about thinking big. She explained the reason most people don’t get what they want, is unrealistic timelines. For instance, you want to lose 20 pounds in the next two months. She said that if you relieved yourself of the pressure of changes happening so quickly, you would probably achieve what you want. For instance, say in the next two years. That way, you allow yourself time to make the shifts you need.


Too often, it’s the quick fixes that are wanted. Not time to do the deep work to change the patterns and problems that created the situation. There is not the transformation or change you want.


It’s why it’s said, “Diets don’t work.”


For much of my life, I have been blessed to set goals and achieve them. Whether that was running a marathon, becoming a principal or building our house.


Each of those goals were long-term. I had to break things down.


I had never run over 10 miles. I had to change my habits.


I had to plan to build up my capacity to run 26.2 miles.

Each week we would plan our running schedule – short runs and a long run.

We would plot the course we would run for that week.

I would think ahead about what I needed to eat to sustain my energy.

We participated in workshops about running marathons.


Knowing it was long-term we relaxed into it, assured it would happen. We were excited about the possibility and the challenge.


We set realistic expectations.


So why isn’t this working?


What I have learned this year is that I have to stick with the plan, not off and on when convenient.


As you know, I have been working to rid myself of this 20 extra pounds I have carried around. Mostly the muffin top because it is a sign of health problems. I have tried every diet, every gimmick to get rid of it but finally, I decided I was figuring this out. Thus, hiring a health coach.


In the process of changing my eating to mostly protein rather than carbs and sugar, I’ve seen where I go off track. I’m good at home, mostly. But, when we go out or travel, my mindset has been I can eat what I think tastes “good” – breads, desserts and some drinks. None of which serve me as I have tried healing my body.


As Joel Barker says, get back to ground zero.


If I want to be healthy, I must decide and commit to following the plan to get me there, knowing it’s a long-term shift, physically and mentally. Not just some time.


I can’t continue to do unhealthy behaviors if I want different results. Isn’t that the definition of insanity?


So what I have learned this year is that I need to surrender my old thoughts and patterns because I truly want a transformation. I want to choose healthy foods and love them. Knowing the benefits to my body and life.


I know that I haven’t gotten the results I’ve wanted because I needed to look deeper and decide what I really wanted.


I see why that door closed.


If I had lost the weight I wanted, I would not have changed my behaviors mentally and physically.


I feel blessed that I have learned that there is another way that can lead to a lighter body and a healthier lifestyle.


Now, it’s your turn. When a door closes on you, how do you handle it? What have you learned this year that is serving you in a higher and greater way?


Send me an email at dottie@dottiehager.com and let me know.