How do you treat yourself? What kind words are you saying to yourself? How do you love yourself?
How are you taking time each day to acknowledge, affirm and appreciate yourself? The more love you give yourself, the more love you can share with others. What acts of appreciation to yourself can you begin today? How can you appreciate yourself today? How can you affirm yourself today whether it was something you did for someone or how you begin your day?
Learning to love yourself can be a lifelong journey of self-discovery. For me it has been a valuable process. It was shameful to hear the way I talked to myself. I expected that I would do everything perfectly, so when I didn’t perform like that, the blasts of criticism would happen inside my head. I am pleased to say today that most of my self-talk is much kinder and affirming. I do lots of affirmation especially in times of struggle or fear. One of the gifts from my spiritual journey has been to learn about self-love and how to honor myself. Self-love is knowing you are enough and knowing you are valuable. The most important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself. From this relationship, you teach others how to treat you. Love yourself, believe in yourself. What area of your life could you use some more self-love?
How are you being better today than you were yesterday? Do you take the time to think about that? How can you be more aware of how to live your life? Even if you don’t believe in resolutions or goals, you can make steps to being a better you today than you were yesterday. I was listening to an Oprah Soul Sunday where she interviewed Wayne Dyer. He said he tries to live each day with more love, kindness and consciousness. Just imagine what a wonderful world we could live in if each of our focus for this year was to be more loving, kind and conscious every day.
As we think about what we want for our new year, it is important to choose something to focus on that you really want rather than what you think you should do or do what you think others want you to do. When it is of our desire, the likelihood you will stick with it will increase. I recently read One Word by Jon Gordon and two other authors. They share that about 85% percent of people never follow through with their goals, resolutions or milestones. This book has some new insights that seem pretty promising as well as meaningful. They suggest you choose one word for the year that will change your life. This word should give meaning and focus to your life. They suggest you choose the word through reflection, prayer and listening to your heart for the word to come to you.
My husband and I shared in this process. His word was growth and mine was courageous. As we were reflecting on our words, we wanted to make sure that it represented all aspects of our lives. How does this word reflect your work, your spiritual life, your financial world, your physical world and your mental world? What would your word be? How can you involve your family or colleagues at work in this process? Imagine how it would be if everyone around you lived to be better today than they were yesterday by focusing on their word, their desire. Take a moment to find your word that could lead you to your best life in 2013.
What is it that you really, really, really, really want in your life? Do you have a clear picture of that? What could you do to create it, feel it, and believe it could be your reality? As we begin a new year, it is the perfect time to begin thinking about exactly what you want in your life. Get clear about it. Do something every day to create it. Start with creating a vision of it. How does it feel when you have it? Feel the excitement, the joy, the abundance of it in your life. Keep those feelings for at least 17 seconds and you will create a shift in energies for it to become closer to a reality for you. What are your thoughts about your desire? Are they all the reasons why it can’t happen? It’s not our job to figure out exactly how it is to happen, it’s our job to create it and believe it will happen. Catch yourself and the thoughts you are thinking. We often think more about what we don’t want, than what we want. Are you falling into that trap? The more we can vision and really feel what we want the universe can provide it for us. Shift your thinking to focus on what you really, really want. Your life will change.
I am one who believes in goals, resolutions and focus. I believe it sets the tone of where you are going in your life. Otherwise, life just happens and we feel frustrated and powerless. I do know that approximately 85% of people who set resolutions at the beginning of the year, fall off them quickly. I have been one of those people many times.
For me, it’s important to put some structure in as I set goals or intentions. For instance one of the goals, I continue to have is to lose some weight. I need to know what that means for me, what my desired weight is, and when I intend to accomplish the process. I would like to be 15 pounds lighter by spring break. How do I plan on creating that? Here are some steps: Set some milestones along the way; Break it down so it feels more realistic and more achievable; and, Get some pictures of yourself at the weight you’d love to be, keep those every place. If you don’t have some you like, find some pictures in magazines of the shape you believe you can be, and replace your face in it. You have to see it to be it. Find some “accountability partner” to help you on your journey. When we have someone to share this with, we are more likely to keep to our plan. It’s not to judge or make you wrong it is someone with whom you have to be responsible to that will help you along the way. Success happens when we truly desire something rather than feel like something is being taken away. We can give away that which we no longer want.
What will sustain us is the joy and pleasure of the process. How are you willing to take control of your life and feel free because it is what you truly desire? For me, one of the steps I am in taking in my process of being lighter by spring break, is to teach a Course in Weight Loss, 21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering Your Weight Forever by Marianne Williamson. Join us on the journey.
As I grew up, Christmas was always the biggest holiday our family celebrated. As we grew up, three of us moved out of state. We were all in different states. We all made “a deal” that we would come home for Christmas. It was our way of staying close to each other even though our daily lives were off in different directions. It was so important to each of us to keep that sense of family. How are you keeping connected to those you love or care about? What are important commitments you have made with your family? What’s most important to you during these holidays? Are you making sure that happens for you? You are in charge of creating the life you love and what’s important to you.
This time of year it might not be so easy to remember the most important things in life are our friends and family. With the hustle and bustle of the holidays, we often get caught up in all the pressure of the parties or activities we have to go to, the financial worries of affording the gifts we’d love to give, meeting the needs of others or the anxiety of pleasing others. We forget to slow down and savor in the reason we are able to do all these things. What a gift it is to have friends or colleagues that invite you to parties or events.
How could you shift your thinking about the pressure of having to go to these events to one of gratitude that I have been “gifted” to have people around me that care enough about me to invite me? We read every day about people that are homeless or without others in their lives. How blessed we are to have others that care about us. How could you shift the worry about affording gifts to one of knowing that whatever you give from the heart is received with love? Some of the best gifts I have received are the words my friends and family write in a card or a note, or the times they stopped by to say hello. As a people-pleaser myself, it is easy to feel the anxiety of trying to make sure I have done what others want. The key is to balance this need. This is our life, and we need to make sure that as we please others, we have not neglected ourselves.
During this holiday season, honor yourself by making sure each week you take time for yourself too. For me, that is exercising with my friends and family, and spending time just being with my friends and family. When I make sure that I do those things most important to me, I can enjoy the hustle and bustle of all I have to do. So, as the pressures mount for the season events, I am able to truly feel blessed with all I have in my life rather than feel drained and worn out from the external demands of the holiday season. How are you choosing to experience this holiday season? Is it running you, or are you choosing to enjoy the season’s opportunities?
As you think about Thanksgiving and the traditions you and your family share, what things are you grateful for in your life? Take some time to notice what your thoughts are around the gatherings, the food, the people and the situations you are in this Thanksgiving weekend. Who are you grateful for? What are you grateful for? Who are you willing to share with how grateful you are they are in your life, and tell them why? How can you lead a conversation about being grateful with others in your gathering? How can you challenge yourself to find an area in your life where you can be more grateful to yourself? Take the time to really dwell in the blessings in your life.
“Trade your expectation for appreciation
and the world changes instantly.”
— Tony Robbins
One of the areas I feel like I have had great growth is this area of gratitude versus expectations. It’s sad to say that I didn’t spend a lot of time in gratitude. My mind and life were more focused on achievement and meeting expectations, mine and others.
I remember as I was going through my coaching course, we had an exercise of making moments meaningful. It was hard for me as I was driven to hard work and succeeding at whatever I was doing. So for me, it was about expectations of achieving and if I didn’t do perfect work, then there was internal warfare. I was beating myself up about what wasn’t perfect. I never saw that I had so much to be grateful for in my life. How could I make moments meaningful when they weren’t perfect? I didn’t see that I could have broken down all the parts of any situation and really acknowledged how well I, or we, did on that project or situation. I only saw what we didn’t do.
I remember what a HUGE breakthrough moment that was for me. I realized that instead of looking through the eyes of gratitude and appreciation, I was looking through the eyes of judgment. So for me to find moments that were meaningful, it was illusive to begin with on this exercise. It was also one of the most freeing moments when I realized how much I had going on in my life. It was fine to take the time whether mentally or verbally to honor all I had going. I rarely took the time to appreciate and honor others or myself. I thought you wouldn’t achieve if you lessen the hold or expectation.
Don’t get me wrong, expectations and achieving are great things. The issue was when I couldn’t accept anything but perfection. A big example for me was how I wanted my children to behave. It was fine to expect them to be well-behaved. The problem was that I expected them to be perfect so I put lots of pressure and unrealistic expectations on them. I was and still am so blessed to have amazing kids. It was when I didn’t understand that I can have high expectations and still be affirming, grateful and gentle with myself and others. We are all glad that I have loosened the reins. Another way, I could have handled the situation was I could acknowledge what was happening and not just dwell on what wasn’t. I could have focused on what I wanted rather than dwell where I didn’t want my life to go. I am so grateful for the growth in my life.
Where in your life, could you take some time to find ways that your expectations and achievements are keeping you focused on the negative? How could you have a shift, create a miracle in your life, by altering the way you look at a situation? Where could you shower yourself and others with more gratitude, appreciation and acknowledgement? Take the time to do it.