What words would you use to describe yourself? How is your internal conversation with yourself? Would you be one that could have a long list of loving things about yourself? Or would you find it easier to make a list of more negative thoughts or fear thoughts about yourself?

I know over the years when I was interviewing people, it appeared easier for people to list their weaknesses than their strengths. How can we receive what we want in life when we are not comfortable talking about our strengths or things that we love about ourselves? Are you fortunate to have learned to focus on loving yourself, focus on what’s right with your life? Think about what you are saying to yourself and about yourself. How kind are you to yourself?

I am teaching this class “A Course in Weight Loss – 21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering Your Weight Forever” based on Marianne Williamson’s book titled the same. All of us have tried numerous “diets” and have mostly had the weight return. The premise of this course is that weight problems are not about your relationship with food; it is about your relationship with love. “The cause of our excess weight is in our mind. Mind is the cause-body is effect.” (p. 10). The course is a journey in loving ourselves.

I can say that my words to myself have not always been the kindest, most loving words with excess weight on my body. What shifts in your thinking would have to be made to have more loving thoughts? Maybe you don’t have a weight problem. See how your words are creating your reality in an area that you are not having the results you want. If you think more about what you want in your life, and what is right in your life, you ultimately create more of what you want rather than what you don’t want.

Every day we have so many opportunities to look at life from the perspective of what’s right in our everyday interactions.  It’s important to focus on what we want so we aren’t creating more of what we don’t want.

Yesterday as my daughter and I were talking about the many changes they are going through in their life, it became very clear how easy it is to fall into the dark hole of negativity. They have just returned from being away from Oklahoma for the past year. They bought a house but it needs remodeling. It was supposed to be done by the time they returned August 1st.  Yet, all that is done is the demolition of the areas needing changes. They had to find a place to live for the month they will be displaced. The contractor has now given them a date of September 7th to be in their house. As they go by each day to see what is done, which is very little or none, it is easy to get frustrated, angry and ranting about why it isn’t done. Yet, where does that get them?  It doesn’t make the work happen quicker, it can build more stress for them, and it’s not up to them to do the work since they contracted it to be done. She said, we need some peace in our life, so we can’t let this get us.

It was a great example of trying to focus on what’s right or what you want more of in your life. She said we are all together for the first time in a year so we have a lot to be grateful for. It’s not always easy. If we take a few moments to ask ourselves what do we really want, we can have that little shift that opens up some clarity of what is really important. In a month or so from now, will all that nit picking, negative energy really be helpful or good for their lives?  Take a moment in your life, and ask yourself, what do you really want, and let that be your guide to how you live your life. If you want more peace, then as things like this show up in our life (which it does), just let peace be your focus for how you are handling the situation. As you find yourself ready to throw a fit, ask if that will give you the peace you are wanting in your life.  Remember, there is another way.  Focus on what you want rather than all the circumstances around us that are out of our control.

The Serenity Prayer comes in handy in times like these:

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can,
And, the wisdom to know the difference.

As we go through our life, are we focusing on what we want and what’s right in our lives? I never realized how unconscious my thinking was and how much I was living based on what I didn’t want. Mostly, I was going through my days on how compliant I was based on the rules of my family and the church.  So for me, most of my focus was what I didn’t want because I didn’t want to get anything wrong.  Don’t get me wrong, rules and structures can provide a framework for us, but I took it to mean I had to do worry about all the things I wasn’t supposed to do.  With just a little shift in my perspective and thinking, I was able to realize how I could begin focusing on what’s right in my life.  Gratitude and appreciation go a long way in creating a life you desire.  Start and end your day with gratitude prayers, and by writing in a journal about all you have going right in your life.

I never imagined the creative opportunities I had before me. I can choose my own thoughts and create my life based on those thoughts. I never realized the power of my thought. It is said that we have 60,000 – 90,000 thoughts a day and most of them are the same thoughts we had the day before.  We wonder why our lives are the same. If I want something different in my life, I have to first become aware of what I’m thinking. What do I want? What steps do I need to take to create that which I want? Where am I focusing my attention?  How clear am I about what I want?  We often are clearer about what we don’t want.   At any point and time, I can choose new thoughts based on what I want for my life.  Wow, what freedom!

Now that I know if I don’t like a situation, it’s just an opportunity to shift my thinking to what I want rather than stay stuck where I don’t want to be. I need to look for what’s right and build on it.  We attract that which we have the most energy expended, that which is wanted and that which is unwanted. You can tell which way you are heading by whether you like where you are or whether you don’t.   Shift the sails in the direction you want to head.  The shift can happen easily if we are open and allowing things to happen, or can take some time if we are resisting and have some strong beliefs holding us in place.  It can be anchored by all the resistance, and then we wonder why things aren’t changing.

What are you willing to take a look at in your life?  Complete the following: My life is_______________ &______________.  The world is_______________& _____________________________.  This is a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Your answers make all the difference in what you are creating for your life.  We get what we focus on and how we see the world.  Each of us brings our own lenses to viewing and participating in life.  What are you choosing?  If you don’t like what is happening in your life, choose again.  Make a new plan. The first step is the awareness of how you are guiding your life.  Keep your energy positive and focused on what you want and what’s right in your life.

Make a list of at least 10 ten things that are right with your life.  Appreciate them, acknowledge them, and give thanks for them.  You will see more of what’s right in your life.

Gratitude and Appreciation
As we learn to focus on what’s right in our life, we need to acknowledge that. Then acknowledge any work you are doing to make that shift in your life.  Sometimes beginning to be grateful takes a lot of being conscious of how you function in the world. We often go through our days doing things, being busy and not even noticing all that we have to be grateful. The quickest way to have more of what you want is to be grateful for what you have.  If you are stuck on what to be grateful for, start with the things that we often take for granted. If you can get out of bed in the morning, you were lucky to have a bed to sleep on for the night.  If you are able to brush your teeth with clean water, you are fortunate to live in a place that provides that.  If you have a job, you are lucky as many people today are out of work.  It’s breaking through about things we have taken for granted.  It’s a little shift in our perspective, and our lives can be full of gratitude. Gratitude for what we have draws more abundance to us. How many times a day do you give thanks? We have so many things in our life to be grateful for. Are you focusing on that which you are so very fortunate and on what’s right in your life?

To live in a state of gratitude, you have to learn to expand your awareness of the gifts you have been given. Find small ways and big ways you can focus on what’s right.  Then give thanks. Say thank you to each person you encounter for the day. Start and end your days with gratitude prayers. Make a list of 10 blessings you have in your life.  Each day acknowledge those 10, and say thank you three times for each one.

Gratitude is the quickest way to have more of what you want and live the life you desire. Focus on what you want.